WASHINGTON, DC – Vladimir Putin has teamed up with Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, and popular alien, P’Lod to plot a strategy on the impeachment of President Donald Trump.
Putin was in the nation’s capital last week for a series of private meetings with Pelosi on how to best get the President out of office. Nancy Pelosi had invited the Russian President to her home to “iron out” all the details. Putin said he would be willing to help in “any way” to stir up things in Washington.
Pelosi and Putin had some disagreements about the correct approach to impeachment. Putin wanted to use a more forceful approach that utilized the leaders of the FBI, CIA along with network executives from CBS, NBC, & CNN. “If we want to get him out of office, we will need to get everybody on board, working together. United we can overthrow anything.”
The Speaker of the House wants a softer approach to the impeachment. “I think if Vladimir can help me convince some of our Republican Congressmen and Congresswomen to see the light on impeachment, well that would be a great service to our country.”
“But, of course,” Vladimir said. “I will not have the problem convincing Congress people to take action.” Putin told WWN that he has emails from all members of the current Congress and that he spends a good amount of time on the weekends reading them and “laughing like a big bear.”
BRING IN THE ALIEN!
Pelosi and Putin couldn’t come to an agreement on how to best overthrow the American government, so they turned to the one being that is respected by both parties in Washington. They turned to P’Lod.
P’Lod joined Pelosi and Putin at her home. He had just got back from a romantic weekend of apple-picking with his lover, Hillary Clinton, so he was in a very good mood.
However, P’Lod’s mood soured quickly when he heard the impeachment strategy that Putin and Pelosi came up with. “It doesn’t make any sense,” P’Lod reportedly said. “Why would we send the military to take over the White House and at the same time expose everyone’s emails? Isn’t there a simpler way?”
P’Lod wasn’t even sure what the whole impeachment inquiry was really all about. But he promised to study the situation and report back to Pelosi and Putin, who left for a weekend of deer hunting in Michigan together.
Meanwhile, Donald Trump is livid. He can’t believe Pelosi is teaming up with the Russians to try to take him down. Pelosi told Trump, “you aren’t the only one who gets to use the Russians!”
But all might not be as it seems. Apparently, Putin is going golfing with Donald Trump before he goes on a deer hunt with Pelosi. Putin tells WWN, “I love American politics. So much more fun than we have in Russia!”
We are hoping Pelosi, Putin and P’Lod can sort it all out.
As a U.S. representative serving on the interplanetary committee with P’Lod I can say with confidence that him “not being sure” is a stall tactic hatched by himself and the republicans and it’s obvious that Putin and Pelosi are going deer hunting to research chronic wasting disease so we become even more dependent on the Chinese to buy our debt, leaving us open to a China-Russia-Democrat communist takeover.