Bigfoot Duck Hunting!
Brothers Luke and Rob Wiley were sitting by Sumter Lake early one morning, preparing their duck decoys, when they heard loud footsteps in the woods behind them. “We assumed it was another hunter,” said Rob.
Mutants
Top Secret Navy Whale Sniffs Out Enemy Mines!
Fresh baked bread from your favorite bakery, a warm apple pie on the windowsill…underwater enemy attacks?
To Little Fanfare, Margaret Thatcher Finally Admits To Being a Zombie
After years of being hounded by conspiracy theorists and journalists from alternative publications, reporter Michael “Skipper” Entwistle finally got Margaret Thatcher to admit she is a zombie.
Civil War Babies
During the Civil War, the Confederacy won a victory in the Battle of Chickamauga and the North’s need for more soldiers forced President Lincoln to create a new branch of the infantry.
Technological Marvels From the Animal Kingdom!
Birds inspired the airplane and rabbits’ ears helped designers improve TV reception. Now, a new study from biologist Carl Navrin reveals a host of little-known animal species responsible for the best ideas of other human inventors.
Couple Attacked by Goldfish!
Last month, following a lovely dinner at Japaneteria, David and Jane Bennett were celebrating their honeymoon in the middle of Weller Lagoon when David’s amorous advances became a little more than the boat could handle.
Fly-Eyed Baby!
A local hospital recently revealed that Allan Collinson, son of Ted and Dede Collinson, was born with fragmented, refracted eyes. “At first I thought they were just really, really bright,” said his proud but confused mother.
Charlie of "Charlie Bit My Finger Again" Is Now Fingered as British Bat Boy
Shocking development coming from the UK. Charlie of “Charlie Bit My Finger Again” is reported to have vestigial wings that were removed at birth. Insiders are speculating that he could be the British Bat Boy.