THEY EVEN HAVE CREDIT CARDS! Walmart has nearly 5,000 stores in America, but only ONE can claim mountain gorillas as regular customers. When WWN heard about these extraordinary customers, we reached an agreement with the chain to report about this but keep the location secret. An hour later, this reporter landed in front of the … READ MORE
DEVIL DEMANDS REFUND! Over the years, Weekly World News has encountered the Devil aka “Lucifer,” “Satan” and “Scratch” in stories that have spanned the globe. When this reporter received a call from “Lou Scratch,” he realized that it would be a devil of a tale to report. And, so, hours later, this reporter found himself … READ MORE
LEARNING TO SPELL “CARNAGE” HELPS THEM AVOID IT! Law enforcement agencies across the nation are breathing a sigh of relief, today, after a full-blown Mafia war was averted through, of all things, a spelling bee. Tensions between New York’s Gambiossi clan and New Jersey’s Cheezetti mob were about to explode when this alternative method was … READ MORE
“ON A CERTAIN LEVEL, I’M DISAPPOINTED,” SAYS MAN. It’s not very often that a civilian is invited into Groom Lake, which is the official title of Area 51. It’s the most restricted area in America. The only civilians allowed on base are those who have had an alien encounter or someone who had single-handedly thwarted … READ MORE
AND HIS HOUSE IS EVEN WORSE! (EDITOR’S NOTE: WWN is publishing this story because the world needs to know about it – although we vowed to Brick Rivers not to do so. We assure his fans that he’s on the mend after an encounter with very tiny sharp objects.) It’s not often that WWN finds … READ MORE
“THANK GOD I HAD THAT THIRD BURRITO,” HE EXPLAINS When a black van roared up to Vincent Gardini’s vintage woody wagon in Los Angeles’ Diamond District, forcing him onto the sidewalk, Gardini was shocked. “I was shocked,” he recalls. When two masked passengers leaped out of the van, training their semi-automatic weapons on Gardini, pulling … READ MORE
HIS “BRING ON THE FUNK” FRAGRANT CANDLES ARE DESIGNED FOR MEN. No one can deny that Tony Danza is a Renaissance Man. The beloved TV actor has been, over the years, a boxer, a teacher, a lauded Broadway actor, a philanthropist and an all-around good guy. According to rumors, Danza is now jumping into the … READ MORE
“WE’VE KEPT MEGA-MONSTERS MUNCHING FOR FIFTY YEARS.” Dr. Vincent DeCarlo stands in his small factory in Newark, New Jersey, surrounded by oversized teeth. For the last 50 years, Titanic Teeth Dentistry has focused only on the biggest stars in moviedom. “We’ve done dentistry on King Kong, Godzilla, King Ghidorah – the Three-Headed Monster, Rodan, Gamera. … READ MORE
AND IT’S RUN BY WEIRD KIDS! Slim Dubrow and his brother, Pickens, lean next to their battered pick-up truck adjacent to a nameless Kansas field. They have a tale to tell. The brothers were digging a well on their farmland when, suddenly, all the equipment, as well as the two brothers, were sucked into a … READ MORE
WITHOUT GIGS, THEY TURN TO A LIFE OF CRIME It’s one o’ clock in the morning and a camouflaged clown car sits in the shadows near Beverly Glenn Boulevard. The car is filled a bevy of scrunched-up clowns. Before the pandemic, they made a handsome living performing at birthday parties hosted by the rich elites … READ MORE