LOBBYISTS CRY FOUL! In a once in a 17-year event, Cicadas will emerge from their underground nests across the nation. Thisincludes the District of Columbia. Lobbyists are panicking. “This could be a disaster,” Noted Jolene Small, Head of the DC Lobbyists ofAmerica Association. “These insects are really loud. They may well drone out everything we … READ MORE
Much to the shock of the financial world, it has been discovered the Yeti are behind the current worldthe explosion in cryptocurrencies. Jeffrey Ness is the current head of the Federal Reserve Board. He noted, “It shocking. It is really puttingthe crypto into cryptocurrency. We had no idea. However, it is not illegal for the … READ MORE
The secretive organization, The Illuminati, has refused admission to billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates Some feel the organization is completely fictional but others believe the Illuminati controls all media except the Weekly World News. Many say they are responsible for historic events such as the Kennedy assassination. Some say the Illuminati forced Taco Bell to remove … READ MORE
TENURE LOCKED IN FOR ETERNITY Tenure gives professors the right to teach and do research for their entire lives. Now, thanks to a surprise ruling from the Illinois Board of Education Labor Affairs, tenure also means employment after death! Just about everyone was shocked by the 7-2 ruling. But not labor lawyer Joe Melon. “I … READ MORE