ST. PETERSBURG – Russian industrial company, Rusabala, is manufacturing flying saucers.
The Russian space program is kicking back into high gear… well, at least into second gear. They may not be sending rockets into space anytime soon, but they continue to come up with innovative new ways to explore outer space – and earth.
The Russian government announced yesterday that it is funding a private company to make flying saucers.
“We believe that these flying saucers will be able to travel both around the world and into outer space,” said Yuri Dropavich of the Soviet Space Research Institute. “The flying saucers are made of durable plastic and can be operated by one-person or a two-man crew.”
Vladmir Putin plans on taking one of the first flying saucers to the moon and back next year. “Russian flying saucers are far better than anything the Americans can come up with. These saucers are the greatest achievement in space exploration. Every human being will now be able to fly into outer space, and be home by dinner.”
NASA scientists have carefully examined the Russian flying saucers. “This must be a joke, these things are a piece of sh%t,” said Dani Bannon, an astronaut who served as chief engineer for the last Discovery mission. “These things couldn’t fly more than ten miles, let alone into outer space.”
“Typical American bullsh*t,” said Dropavich. “We spent twenty-five years making these flying saucers. They utilize the latest in nano-technology. The fuel-injection systems and the advanced circuitry are not visible to the naked eye. Certainly not to the naked eye of a stupid Texan. NASA has lost its step, they are too busy trying to open their new petting zoo in Orlando.”
“The Russians need to go back to shooting chimps into space,” countered Bannon. “My five-year-old son could make a better flying saucers with crazy glue and newspaper.”
The flying saucer “Cold War” continues…
However, you can test the flying saucers out yourself. Rusabala will be making them available to U.S. consumers this holiday season. Wal-Mart signed an exclusive deal to sell the flying saucers. Buy two and get a jumbo box of pretzels free!
Aliens, who travel by real flying saucers, have had no comment about the Russian-made flying saucers… yet.
Buy a Russian flying saucer and… fly to the moon!