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I’m madder than a cheerleader with a busted pom-pom!

So now Rush Limbaugh can’t buy a football team because some commies made up stories about him!

I don’t get why you have to make up stories about the guy anyhow. He’s been married three times and hooked on hillbilly pills and once he even tried to eat half of Rhode Island – but that’s not bad enough?

Nope, cuz in the NFL, that stuff just makes him normal. Between the football players on drugs and the ones that kill dogs, the whole bunch of them are stupid, stoned, violent and crazy.

But the way they talk about Rush, you’d think he was O.J. Simpson!

It’s pretty rich hearing Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson yelling at Rush, too. Those two guys are no better Billy Mays and the Sham Wow guy, but they sell b.s. instead of Ginsu Knives. And hell, those damn knives worked pretty good too!

The difference is, Al and Jesse don’t have to buy time on tv – idiot reporters put them on for nothing.

Trouble is: nobody who likes Rush wants to give up their tv football or pricey jerseys or their tailgating parties to get back at the League. They’re still gonna paint half their faces orange and hand their cash over to the bad guys.

Next time Rush should try to buy Hollywood or the New York Times or something his fans don’t care about! Those things lie too but nobody notices anymore.

Me? I’m just scared Glenn Beck might try to buy up Dunkin’ Donuts!