On the same day Pope Benedict XVI had an emotional send-off in St. Peters Square, it was announced that Bat Boy will be the next Pope!
Many of the cardinals who will choose Benedict’s successor were in St. Peter’s Square for his final audience. Word quickly spread that they had already made their selection. “Bat Boy is the odds on favorite,” said a source in Vatican City. “The Cardinals felt that it was time that a mutant became Pope. They want new blood in the Papacy. And there’s no one with newer blood than Bat Boy”
Cardinal Peter Turkson of Ghana was considered the favorite, until Bat Boy said that he would consider leading the 1.3 billion Catholic
Irish gambling site Paddy Power is offering odds of 3/2 for Bat Boy. He had support of all the Cardinals from North America, South America, Asia and from Poland. The European Cardinals wanted to have a European Pope, but the overwhelming desire to have Bat Boy sit on the Papal Throne won out.
Nuns in Vatican City were jumping for joy at the thought of Bat Boy as Pope. “We all love Bat Boy,” said Sister Mary Batrillo. “We are already preparing his first bloody meal.”
Bat Boy will be the first non-European, non-human, to lead the Catholic church in more than a millennium. Many insiders say that Bat Boy knows better than anybody on the planet what it’s like to be persecuted. “Bat Boy is the only being on the planet that truly understands Christ. The Father, The Son and… Bat Boy!,” said a Cardinal in the conclave.
Vatican officials said cardinals will begin meeting Monday to confirm Bat Boy.