LAS VEGAS – Rick Sanchez, just fired from CNN, has challenged Jon Stewart to a boxing match. Stewart has accepted.
Rick Sanchez will fight Jon Stewart at The Mandalay Bay Center in Las Vegas on December 11th, 2010. Don King will be promoting the bout. “Only in America,” said King.
The other day Rick Sanchez’ made a regrettable and hurtful statement about Jews, which helped get him fired from CNN. Rick Sanchez said this:
I’m telling you that everyone who runs CNN is a lot like Stewart, and a lot of people who run all the other networks are a lot like Stewart, and to imply that somehow they, the people in this country who are Jewish, are an oppressed minority?….Yeah
He also said, Jon Stewart is a bigot. Sanchez had made occasional gaffes over recent months, for which Jon Stewart mocked him mercilessly, including calling the anchor “a total meathead.”
King and his fight promoters are officially billing the bout as: The Bigot vs. The Meathead. Others are simply calling it The Rumble in Jewbana! Tickets go on sale Tuesday, October 12th.
Stewart, who is about six inches shorter than Sanchez and weighs about forty pounds less, feels that he can knock him out in the first or second round. “The guy is so dumb, all I have to do is say ‘look behind you’ and the meathead will turn around. That’s when I’ll wallop him in the face. He’ll fold like a bad taco.”
Stewart, who was born in New York City, but raised in New Jersey feels that he his Jewish heritage will be a plus in the boxing ring. “I’m gonna rub lox all over my body before the match. That’ll keep him away.”
Sanchez was born in Cuba, but grew up in Florida. He thinks that the fight will “take me about 20 seconds. All I have to do is smack the yarmulke off his head. When he goes to pick it up, I’ll wallop him in the face. He’ll drop like a matzoh ball.”
Stephen Colbert, wanting to get in on the “action,” made a request to fight Anderson Cooper in an opening welterweight fight that night. Cooper, who lifts weights regularly so “I look can good to the guys in the gym”, doesn’t want to fight Colbert. Instead, he’d like to smack around Aziz Ansari – “he’s a good-looking Indian man.” Ansari has accepted and is already drinking maple syrup in order to gain weight so he take on the slightly bulkier Cooper.
Fight odds have Stewart a 3-1 favorite. The odds that Sanchez says something stupid that night are even money.
Place your bets!