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WWN EXCLUSIVE –  Bat Boy, Bigfoot, and Bush are all on the guest list for Chelsea Clinton’s wedding in Rhinebeck, New York on July 31.

President Barack Obama and talk show queen Oprah Winfrey are also among the 500 A-list guests invited to attend the wedding of the year for Chelsea Clinton and banker Mark Mezvinsky.  Nuptials will be held at Aster Court in the quaint village of Rhinebeck, New York.  It includes several prominent WWN celebrities:

Bat Boy
Buster Simcus
Reindeer Boy
George Bush

Some in the elite New York press consider these guests mutants, but in actuality, they are all upstanding citizens of the United States and all have influenced Chelsea in profound ways.  Bat Boy acutally introduced her to Mark Mezvinsky.

Bat Boy, Bigfoot and Bush will be traveling to the wedding together in Bush’s newly purchased horse and buggy.  Bush is currently working on his autobiography entitled, “Hop Little Bunny, Hop!” which will be released by Crown Publishers in November of this year.  Bush commented about the wedding invitation on his newly created Facebook page.  He wrote, “Hello, is anybody there?  I can’t hear you.  Laura, this thing doesn’t work. It doesn’t work. Hello, hello..?!”

Bigfoot befriended Chelsea’s father, Bill, after being called in to the lead the FBI raid on the Branch Davidian complex in 1993.   Also, in 2002 it came out that Paula Jones accusations against Bill Clinton were false, because she mistook Bill Clinton for Bigfoot.  “It was actually BigFoot that asked me to… kiss it.”   Jones said.  She is trying to get in touch with Bigfoot because she’d like to be his guest for the wedding.

Other celebrities that will be in attendance:

Barbra Streisand
Brad Pitt
Kate Capshaw
Steven Spielberg
Chris Brown
Harold Ickes
Glenn Beck
Terry McAuliffe
Moses Blue
John Major
Tony Hayward, BP CEO
All the Real Housewives of New Jersey
Iker Casillas
Sara Carbonero
Jesse James
Doris Kearns Goodwin
Ted Turner
Denise Rich
Kanye West
Taylor Swift
Michael Jackson
Jenna Jameson
Megan Fox
Team Jacob
Monica Lewinsky

Chelsea and Monica have actually become quite close since the blue dress incident in the late 90s and are planning on opening a tapas restaurant together in lower Manhattan.

For some reason, Hillary Clinton is NOT on the guest list.  We are investigating.  WWN’s Frank Lake will be crashing the wedding and will report back to readers.