I’m as frustrated as a pygmy at a Knicks game! Those damn hippies told us pollution was bad. They made us stop littering – which took the fun out of family car trips! Then they said to stop taking family car trips because they waste gas and make smog.

Then because they wanted everyone to stink as bad as they do, the hippies said we couldn’t use deodorant because stuff in the spray can was bad for outer space.

Now, I’ve been saying all this time that getting rid of pollution would be BAD for us! We’d spent years building up the strength to live with smog, so cleaning up the air would make us a nation of wimps – and I was right!

Our kids wear helmets to eat peanut butter sandwiches! Our cars are small and ugly, and everything fun is banned. I read on the computer machine that the World Trade Centers fell down faster because they built it without asbestos — after they found out asbestos could kill people!

But after all that, NASA says getting rid of pollution was bad for Nature all along!

NASA just discovered all the bad things in old spray cans were what was keeping the world cool! Know what that means? HIPPIES CAUSED GLOBAL WARMING!!

I never believed in global warming, but if we can blame hippies for it, I do now! And you know you can trust whatever NASA says, because they build billion dollar spaceships that blow up after thirty seconds if a piece of styrofoam falls off!

If you’d listened to poor old Ed all along, we’d still be driving big smelly cars, tossing fast food garbage on the side of the road, and giving hippie hitchhikers the finger! Those were the good old days!

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  1. Actually it is the mercury in dirty coal that has poisoned your brain to such an extent that your perspective makes as much sense as a hippie on Pot.

  2. Ed, Ed, Ed,
    You must of heard me jawing on this for the past 50 years.
    Always wondered where hippies got the luxury of time and money to lay around buck naked and do worthless stuff like alter their brain cells with expensive drugs.
    To this day, the media romanticizes and glorifies them, while in contraire, they continue denigrating the working slugs who kept their noses clean.

  3. Dear Ed, Don't forget all these dirty hippies spewing all this hot air adding to global warming, and when I say hot air I mean all there stupid commie ideas. These worthless losers have taken over the government and the universities and have poisoned the minds of the youth of America! Lets save the Earth and our culture by putting them in re education camps where they have to listen to Newt Gingrich lecturing on American Democracy and watch Ronald Reagan movies all day! Its not too late!

  4. The next time you're driving down the road, and see a Native American on the side of the road, with a tear in his eye, make sure to hit him in the head with a big rock. That'll teach those dang hippies!

  5. you know ed your just as bunch of stupid idiots, living in here in this goddameit planet.. plz il pray for your soul… so i will be NOT be as your victim of your jerk minded.

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