WASHINGTON, DC – Phd Ape had more work to do after the Alaska Senate race finally ended yesterday.

Fresh off the heels of a successful Counseling Conference with Right-Wing members of the media, PhD Ape traveled via a chartered jet to Washington DC for a private meeting with recently indicted and failed incumbent, Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska.
As Alaska election officials completed counting votes Tuesday, the day before Stevens’ 85th birthday, and two weeks after the November 4th election, Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich topped Stevens, the US Senates longest sitting Senator by nearly 3,500 votes.
Alaskans questioned leaving the polls and in the days since said one of the top reasons they voted for Begich was due to Stevens’ indictment on corruption charges and a need to change the political tone in Washington and the nation.
“This is a very personal loss for Stevens,” PhD Ape told reporters in a prepared statement, “he has been in the Senate since 1968.  He is a Senator.  Without that, what is Ted Stevens?  A criminal?  Maybe.  A curmudgeon?  Definitely.  But also a heartbroken 85 year old man.”
PhD Ape said he plans to stay with Stevens in Washington through the weekend.
“A rejection of politics of usual, or the “traditional” workings of Washington is a rejection of political stalwarts like Ted Stevens.  He is deeply hurt that the people of Alaska, who he has dedicated his life to, have rejected his years of service.”
Asked whether he would travel with Stevens back to Alaska should Stevens decide that one weekend in DC is insufficient time for counseling, PhD Ape replied, “Oh, I don’t think so.  Alaska in winter?  That’s no place for an ape, even this hairy one.  I’ll work with Stevens in the capitol this weekend.  After that, he has my email.”


Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.