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ED ANGER SAYS, "HEALTH CARE MAKES ME SICK!"

I finally figured out the whole point of that long stupid meeting the Teleprompter Kid had about health care!
It was nothing to do with getting them all to agree on how to turn hospitals into DMVs.
Nope, their plan was to bore half the country to death and give the other half heart attacks, so we’d all be dead anyhow and wouldn’t need doctors!
Boy, that Communist in Chief sure is touchy. A few times, I’m pretty sure I saw the computer parts in his head blowing a fuse!
The CIA must be kicking themselves for not buying better parts to build their Obama robot – where did they get them from? Toyota?
Yeah, I told you for years those Japs would get their revenge on us for nuking them, and it is finally happening. Those clever Japs have been putting crappy parts in those dinky cars they send us, so we’ll all die and they can take over America!
Toyota is working with Obama to kill us all! It’s all over the TV, people! How much more proof do you want?
Only your old pal Ed Anger has the guts to tell you what’s really happening to our once great nation!
I’ve been waiting for the government to come for me for fifty damn years, but I guess they don’t have the guts! I’ve got it all worked out: when the black helicopters land on my front yard, I just have to roll my oxygen tank down the driveway, then shoot it up with my handy double barrelled Mossberg!
Ka-boom!!
Old Ed doesn’t need any fancy private planes to get back at the Feds. No sir: give me a good old American shotgun – and let the bastards come to me!

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41 thoughts on “ED ANGER SAYS, "HEALTH CARE MAKES ME SICK!"”

  1. Edward,
    Your words are like poetry. Please consider running for office in Ottawa,
    Dayton, or anywhere in LaSalle County. If necessary, I will move to qualify as a loyal voter and supporter. Count me in.
    With great levels of sincerity,
    Kerry Condron

    Reply
    • Run for office anywhere and I would vote for you. Communist government is going to run this country into the ground

  2. Really? This isn't the kind of garbage I expect from the WWN. The Japs? Really? Whatever happened to the good old Venusians? Come on, Ed, that shot was way too easy.

    Reply
  3. Seriously Ed, maybe you should consider taking a valium before you hyperventilate. Maybe you could join Glen Back or just go hide in the attic and wait till it's all over man. We can tell ya when it's safe for the loon^h^h … uh, "regular people" to come out again.

    Reply
  4. Why does Ed require OXYGEN TANKS? Ed, can you answer that? Do you even read these comments? I bet you don't. I bet you're so cantankerous you don't even care what other people think. Here's what I picture you do: you turn the valve on your oxygen tank, put your face in that clear plastic thingamajig, take a few deep breathes, type a few minutes, then (after the heavenly effects of the last pure-oxygen lungfuls) you take another few deep breaths, have another vision, then return to you keyboard. Then you count the words (I'm thinking you get paid by the word) then e-mail it to the guy who's tracking the batboy (via GPS on his cellphone), and demand your fair pay.

    Reply
    • Alric, don't be a nincompoop, a red-blooded guy like Ed doesn't use those stupid new-fangled keyboard gadgets. I see Ed as a Skilcraft Pen kind of guy (official pen of the US government — it's true, check it out).
      But where the hell is Ed? This is ridiculous. If he's not back soon and pig-bitin' mad, I'm going to start telling everyone that he's dating a liberal and she ordered him to stop writing his column so he has more time to help her cook hummus and tofu weiners.

  5. Your right about healthcare, it's all a scam. Corporations that give politicians money control the politicians once they get elected and then force feed us with all sorts of pills and other medications telling us their good for us to get better. I tried that route to battle my chronic pain disease. How did I am I beating the disease? With the help of a local auto parts store. the one owner has found something from a now deceased doctor from Iran called the "watercure". Here is the website for it. <a href="http://www.watercure2.org” target=”_blank”>www.watercure2.org check it out and find out how I'm getting cured of one of the worst chronic pain diseases known to man.

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