MINNESOTA – Malls across America are adding extra security to handle the rush on Bat Boy goods!
ED DECLARES WAR: “GET THESE ELBOW-THROWING MALL ZOMBIES OFF ME OR I’LL SWING MY CART.”
Folks, I’m madder than a hornet stuffed in Santa’s pants, madder than a vegan at an all-you-can-eat rib joint, madder than Hillary Clinton finding out the election was fair! I’m so dang furious I could chew tinsel and spit out razor wire! Christmas shopping used to be wholesome American fun – like a Norman Rockwell … READ MORE
