NEW YORK, NY – Alex Rodriguez has admitted to taking performance-enhancing drugs, and all the angels in the heavens above have wept as one.
PHELPS LOSES ENDORSEMENT DEAL
BALTIMORE, MD – Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps has lost an endorsement contract with Nabisco.
U.S. WOMEN’S BADMINTON TEAM TO VISIT IRAN
TEHRAN – The Obama administration is sending the U.S. women’s badminton team to Iran as a cultural exchange.
SINGULARITY UNIVERSITY
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – Silicon Valley scientists have teamed up to create Singularity University, aimed at advancing Artificial Intelligence beyond what is humanly capable.
100 YARD TOUCHDOWN MIRACLE
TAMPA, FL – Divine intervention is believed to have brought Super Bowl victory to the Pittsburgh Steelers last night.
SUZANNE SOMERS TO LIVE FOREVER
LOS ANGELES, CA – Suzanne Somers has recently come forward with the experimental hormone program which will give her eternal life.