(And if you don’t like it, go hug a liberal pumpkin, you snowflake!) Listen up, you candy-hoarding, fog-machine-fondling freaks of the night! It’s October 31, 2025, and here I am, hunkered down in my bunker with a shotgun loaded with rock salt and a bowl of plain old Hershey bars . The kind of bars … READ MORE
Listen up, you flag-wavin’, hot-dog-eatin’, firecracker-poppin’ Americans! It’s Independence Day, and I’m madder than a bald eagle stuck in a wind turbine! This here’s the day we celebrate our great nation breakin’ free from those tea-sippin’ British tyrants back in 1776, and yet here we are in 2025, squabblin’ like a bunch of alley cats … READ MORE
SHUTDOWN CITY Dear Dotti,With the government shutdown dragging on like a bad acid trip, my paycheck’s vanished faster than Elvis at a sighting convention, and my kids are demanding Fortnite V-Bucks while we eat ramen flavored with regret. How do I keep the family from mutiny? — Starving in Shutdown City Dear Starving: Oh, honey, … READ MORE
Folks, this is Ed Anger here, pig-biting mad as a New Year’s Eve hangover in a dry county! Every January 1st, like clockwork, these whiny, yoga-pants-wearing, kale-munching wimps crawl out of their overpriced apartments and start blabbering about “New Year Resolutions.” Lose weight! Exercise more! Read books! Quit smoking! Save money! Be kinder to Mother … READ MORE
There’s a bizarre scene that has New Englanders both terrified and oddly sympathetic. The legendary Godzilla has been immobilized by one of the worst blizzards to slam Massachusetts in decades. The 400-foot-tall atomic reptile, last seen rampaging through Tokyo, reportedly surfaced off Cape Cod last week. He was drawn by reports of “really big seafood.” … READ MORE
Well, folks, strap yourselves in because I’m madder than a wet hen in a hurricane about this Jerome Powell character and his clown show at The Fed! This guy’s been running the Federal Reserve like it’s his personal piggy bank. And I’m here to tell you, it’s time to give this numbskull the boot faster … READ MORE
Folks, this is Ed Anger here, and I’m so steamed up I could fry an egg on my forehead. Or better yet, roast a weenie over the flames of my fury! For years, we’ve let these long-haired, America-hating weirdos run around torching Old Glory like it’s some kinda backyard barbecue prop for their tofu skewers. … READ MORE
In Jewish lore, the golem — a soulless and violent creature fashioned from clay who wreaks terrible vengeance on those who threaten Jews — is powered by Kabbalistic magic. In 2018’s The Golem, directed by Yoav Paz and Doron Paz with a screenplay by Ariel Cohen, it is powered by estrogen. That’s a lot more … READ MORE
Folks, I’m so steamed I could fry an egg on my forehead! The Jeffrey Epstein client list—that filthy roster of high-flying perverts and power-hungry creeps—still hasn’t seen the light of day, and I’m about ready to bust a gasket! This is the kind of thing that makes my blood boil hotter than a Texas sidewalk … READ MORE
Folks, I’m so steamed I could boil a pot of chili with my bare hands! Everywhere I turn, it’s AI this, AI that, like we’re all supposed to bow down to some fancy computer with a god complex. I was chugging my Old Milwaukee and watching the news when I heard about Apple sniffing around … READ MORE