Let’s find out who’s the victim and who’s the problem. Send your twisted tales to editor@worldweeklynews.com, and I’ll straighten you out. Mabyel-By-Mailboy Dear Dotti, Because our addresses are nearly identical, I get the town spinster’s mail: coffin brochures, catalogs for compression socks, and nice cards from her nephews. Those go right in the trash. Last week, an … READ MORE
Let’s find out who needs a prayer and who needs a clue. Send your twisted tales to editor@worldweeklynew.com and I’ll straighten you right out. Big Dumb Eyes on the Sun Dear Dotti, My dorm roommate is doing a stare-at-the-sun social media challenge and now he’s bumping into walls and keeps asking if I got my … READ MORE
Hello Americans, Let’s see who needs a pat on the back and who needs a slap in the face. Keep the letters coming to editor@worldweeklynews.com. CRYBABIES! Dear Dotti, I’m a great stay-at-home Dad, but moms shun me at the park ‘cause my kids swear and throw toys! How do I get a playdate in this town … READ MORE
ZOMBIE BUNNIES: Authorities Urge Calm and Peeps Sacrifice According to several eyewitness accounts, the bunnies were not only animated but exhibited coordinated pack behavior, strategic hopping, and an apparent thirst for blood—or at least warm bodies. Easter Morning Turns into a Marshmallow Massacre In what experts are calling the “sweetest nightmare imaginable,” Easter festivities took … READ MORE
I’m madder than a bobcat with a burr in its butt about this whole renaming hooey with the Department of Defense! You heard right, folks—they’re finally calling it what it is: the Department of War! About darn time! For years, I’ve been screaming from the rooftops that we need to stop pussyfooting around with these … READ MORE
(Still alive, still drunk on truth serum and White Claw, broadcasting from a derelict Cracker Barrel off I-95. The Epstein list dropped more names than a drunk karaoke night, feral hogs are unionizing, and McDonald’s ice-cream machines are officially classified as a hate crime. Let’s get hysterical! HOG QUEEN DEAR DOTTI,I’m a suburban mom in … READ MORE
Folks, it’s your ol’ pal Dotti here, hunkered down in my Florida bunker with a bottle of champagne spiked with Bigfoot tears and a crystal ball that’s fogged up worse than Times Square after the ball drops. The world’s spinnin’ into 2026 faster than a chupacabra on a Red Bull bender—aliens crashin’ parties, Bat Boy … READ MORE
BURNING BENJAMINS DEAR DOTTI,My husband just announced he’s quitting his job to become a “full-time Trump shaman.” He’s wearing a red tie as a headband, burning $100 bills “to cleanse the aura of fiat currency,” and keeps screaming “THE STORM IS COMING” at the Roomba. We have three kids, a mortgage, and a golden retriever … READ MORE
That’s me, darlings! Still kickin’ from my underground bunker in Florida, sippin’ on moonshine spiked with AI regret. Weekly World News ain’t dead – it’s just hidin’ from the fact-checkers! Send your screams to editor@weeklyworldnews.com, or I’ll assume you’re a lizard person and eat your mail. Folks, 2025’s got us by the short hairs! Unemployment’s … READ MORE
(That’s right, it’s me, your favorite red-faced ranter from the holler, spittin’ mad as a wet hen in a hailstorm. Weekly World News don’t pay me enough to put up with this hogwash, but somebody’s gotta say it!) Listen up, you pencil-necked, latte-sippin bureaucrats and their soy-boy sidekicks in Congress! Another government shutdown? AGAIN? What … READ MORE