With only 1% of the vote in, CNN has declared President Barack Obama the winner of the 2012 election.
Wolf Blitzer and the crack CNN election team barely finished their morning coffee when Wolf Blitzer told the American peoplem “Barack Obama has won the election.  There’s no need for anyone else to vote.”

This is the first time CNN has declared a winner BEFORE the polls even open, but “we are now incorporating mind readers at CNN and we know how people will vote today,” said a CNN executive. In addition, CNN is using “Entrance Polls” to help persuade voters to cast their vote for Barack Obama.
“We have done everything we can to help re-elect the President and by calling the election this early, we hope that this will discourage a  lot of Romney voters from going to the polls.  Even if Romney wins a state, we are planning on calling it for Barack Obama.  That’s how much we believe in the President,”  Blitzer reportedly told WWN.
CNN did make one mistake already today.  They called Florida for… Al Gore.

President Obama went over to CNN offices to help the network handle coverage of his victory.   CNN staffers enthusiastically greeted the president this morning.

CNN’s Candy Crowley gave a speech to the office staff.  She was thrilled that the President was victorious.   The President gave her a big hug and thanked her again for helping him in the second debate.

While the “Presidential results” show GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney winning the popular vote 55-43 percent, the chart shows President Obama winning the election with 280 electoral votes to Romney’s 257.

While MSNBC may be excited to proclaim Obama’s victory, the network may want to wait until the votes are counted.
In other news, Joe Biden proudly announced this morning that he voted for Bill Clinton.  “He deserves another term.”

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  1. The idiot who wrote this article must feel pretty good about himself now. Yeah, it was all a media hoax that America wants Obama! (He ALSO won the popular vote). Or maybe it's that the people who disagree with Republicans are idiots? Of course, they're idiots, because the Republicans are all-knowing superior human beings, therefore, if the majority disagrees with them, surely, the majority is stupid…


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