UPDATE: STEVE JOBS STEPPING DOWN

UPDATE: Steve Jobs has just announced he will be taking a leave of absence – in order to complete his gender re-assignment!

Apple Inc.’s CEO has issued a statement, explaining that he will be taking a medical leave of absence until the end of June. Insiders have reported to Weekly World News that this is due to Jobs’ final round of surgery, which will allow him to fully transition to being female.

Look to see Ms. Jobs’ return this summer, with a whole new wardrobe!

January 6, 2009

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – It was revealed this week that cancer survivor and Apple CEO Steve Jobs was undergoing hormone therapy to counteract his notable weight loss. “My doctors think they have found the cause – a hormone imbalance that has been ‘robbing’ me of the proteins my body needs to be healthy,” Jobs said in an official statement.

Weekly World News sources inside Apple say that Jobs is hiding the real reason for his treatments: He wants undergo radical hormone replacement in order to make a run to become California’s first female governor in 2010. This is in contrary to the recent debacle at MacWorld, where hackers announced his supposed death.

“Steve Jobs has been a longtime supporter of women’s and transgender rights as CEO of Apple,” claims the source. “This move to do a total sex change upgrade speaks to his commitment to quality and strict hardware standards.”

Jobs is forgoing the keynote speech at MacWorld in order to continue hormone therapy, and prepare for the gubernatorial race, which would pit Jobs against steroid user Arnold Schwarzenegger and perhaps former eBay CEO Meg Whitman (reportedly also woman) for the top job in the Golden State.