Many are afraid of the curse of Friday the 13th. Here’s how you can make it through the day unharmed.
Friday the 13th has been the unluckiest of days for thousands of years. The number 13 has been the center of many superstitious customs. Buildings skip the 13th floor, people refuse travel on the 13th day of any month, regardless of the day of the week and others simply to refuse to pay any bill on the 13th. Paraskevidekatriaphobia, the scientific name for the fear of 13, is more widespread than you would imagine.
But here’s how you can turn the curse of Friday the 13th into a a charm:
#1 GET A SPONGE BATH
Have a loved one, friend or co-worker give you a sponge bath. Greeks have long used sponge baths to cure curses. Stand in a bathtub (or if you’re at work, stand by the water cooler). Take off all your clothes. Have your “Charmer” take a wet sponge and gently move it up-and-down your entire body. Lights should be low. Candles are not necessary, but if you want… go for it. If you are alone – find a friend, neighbor or paramedic! You can not administer a sponge bath to yourself and expect to be curse free.
For centuries shamans have known that spitting on a thing or person that you believe has a curse rids that thing or person of the curse. If you are alone and believe that you have been cursed by someone or something – spit on your upper arm or lower thigh. In all cases, one targeted spit will do, no need for over-spitting.
# 3 CARRY A BOWLING BALL
This charm was discovered in the 1950s in Akron, Ohio by Floyd Merkel. If you carry a bowling ball (preferably purple), with you all day you will be protected from all evil spirits (and you will also keep most other people away). Do not stick your fingers in the bowling ball holes. Just carry the bowling ball – chest high. There’s a side benefit: toned arms.
# 4 THROW A HORSESHOE
Yes, this is an old one. Placing a horseshoe on your wall does help. But it’s better to throw horseshoes at your neighbors’ mailboxes – see if you can get them to wrap around the base. The more horseshoes you throw, the better chance you’ll be safe.
#5 SING “DEVIL WITH THE BLUE DRESS ON”
You may think this is a song of praise, but it’s not. The devil and his minions hate this song. Sing it as loud as you can, for as long as you can, and you will keep the Devil away. You may be alone for most of the day, but you may be on your way to American Idol.
#6 PET A COW
Indians have known for centuries that cows are sacred animals. And it’s true, they do possess magical powers. So find a cow, approach him in anon-threatening way and pet him (or her). Twenty-one gentle strokes on the backside will do. In lieu of this advice, some have asked if it’s still okay to eat hamburger or steak on Friday the 13th. This is fine, as long as you pet a cow earlier in the day. If there is no cow in your general vicinity, find a leather boot. This also seems to work. Twenty-one gentle strokes on the side of the boot will do. You can use two boots if you want…
#7 HAVE SEX
This may seem obvious, but the Devil does not want you having sex, and certainly does not want you enjoying it. So have sex – three times in three different positions – and you will be safe and sound!
Go enjoy Friday the 13th!
HOW TO SURVIVE FRIDAY THE 13TH
(Visited 103 times, 1 visits today)
9 thoughts on “HOW TO SURVIVE FRIDAY THE 13TH”
Bubba Simcus is a big supporter of #7
Is Mr. Simcus' real name Bill Clinton?
I thought that jackalope feet are suposed to be lucky!
the only luck ones here are Team USA now that the hired PhD ape!
There are 3 different finishes of bowling balls; Soft finish, hard finish and a finish between soft and hard. Balls with a soft finish have a firmer grip on the lane than the harder ones. If the bowler is buying one ball then a ball with soft finish is highly recommended.
This some funny stuff!!! I'm totally going to pet a cow!!! XD