RED PILL: THE BEST DIRECTORIAL DEBUT IN YEARS!

Tonya Pinkins takes horror to a new level! The supremely gifted Pinkins wrote, directed. and produced this breakout work of art. She also stars alongside a stellar cast of brilliant award-winning actors. The film will have you clutching your seat (when you’re not jumping out of it!). The pacing, flow, and unrelenting terror keeps you … READ MORE

EVERYTHING GETS A SNYDER CUT!

DISSATISFIED WITH ANY PART OF YOUR LIFE OR WORLD? JUST SUPER-SIZE IT! The largely positive reception of Zack Snyder’s director’s cut of Justice League, which reverses many of the edits of Joss Wheedon’s version and furnishes fans with a four-hour restored epic, has spurred Snyder to apply the same philosophy to other works and artifacts. … READ MORE

ATTACK OF THE WEREMEN!

UNLIKE WEREWOLVES, WEREMEN ARE WOLVES WHO CHANGE INTO HUMANS WHEN THE MOON IS FULL AND BRIGHT! The floor of the darkened forest, with its thin tendrils of mist grasping towards the treetops, slowly grows brighter as a full moon begins to rise. Five large gray wolves impassively face this WWN reporter and my companion, their … READ MORE

HERO DAD FLIES TO SAVE DAUGHTER!

SUPERDAD IS BORN! It was a normal,  brisk winter day at the Mifflin Street Target store in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  Shoppers were coming and going as usual. One of these customers,  Reginald Jenkins was there with his wife and daughter. It was soon going to be a day none of them would ever forget. “We were … READ MORE

SEE SPOT SPY

Children’s books activate agents! A recent study has shown that some popular children’s books contain a hidden code that, if activated, can turn ordinary parents into sleeper agents.  “Let me start by saying that this is implausible but true,” says Sharon Ferkins, a former librarian who now heads up the Association Against Books Containing Covert … READ MORE

KNOW YOUR HAT SIZE!

[Note From Editor: The following opinion by Dunwich Dundorfer and may not be held by other hatless reporters in the WWN newsroom.] I can’t take it anymore! Every time I see it in public I’m as triggered as a kid that can’t afford the Fortnite battle pass. On a good day, I am merely seething … READ MORE

“’REGULAR’ LIZARD IS TINY GODZILLA!”

A Matter of Scale! At first it looked like an ordinary lizard. “A garden lizard,” said Elaine Barrow, 13. “I see them all the time. This one had a slightly different color, more like camouflage, not green.”  Barrow’s mother, Dr. Jacqueline Barrow, a noted herpetologist, came to sit next to the garden with her daughter and … READ MORE

GENIUS FARMER INVENTS “SCARE-SNOW”

Terrifying effigy keeps the crops safe Philip Olsen, a farmer near Galveston, Texas, saw a news report about the record-cold weather that was about to hit the Lone Star state. He wasn’t worried. More than a decade ago, when he lived and farmed in Kansas, Olsen invented what he called a “Scaresnow,” a variation on … READ MORE

ALIEN SPY CALLS COPS ON NOSEY HUMAN NEIGHBOR

“SHE’S BLOWING MY COVER!” HE EXCLAIMS Professor Emir Zolton has a problem, actually two: he’s an alien spy from the planet Javlon and he has a neighbor who won’t leave him alone. “She’s blowing my cover,” he exclaims. “I’ve taken out a restraining order and the police have been very sympathetic but this woman can … READ MORE