NEW YORK, NY – Darrelle Revis finally got the contracted he wanted. But it wasn’t the money that brought him back!
The Darrelle Revis holdout has been perhaps the biggest story in the NFL this story. His absence turned the NY Jets into mere playoff contenders instead of Super Bowl contenders. While the Jets organization played the whole things off as no big deal, there was no doubt that the team knew it was missing its best player. A player that can easily turn the tide of any game. Well, the Jets and Revis have reached an agreement – and some of it may surprise you.
The cornerback received a four-year, $46 million deal – $32 million of which is guaranteed. The deal makes Revis a very well-paid football player and it shows that the Jets like can open up their check books – and that having good players on your team is a VERY good thing.
The talk around the league is that the Jets’ coach, Rex Ryan, was the motivating force behind this deal getting done. Ryan has become an instant fan favorite around the NFL thanks to his charisma and tell-it-like-it-is attitude. His defense is a highly touted juggernaut, but the coach knows that it isn’t nearly as good unless he has great players perfecting his defense. Defense wins championships and Ryan finally stepped in to usher in a new deal.
While the money in the new deal is great, it wasn’t what sold the All-Pro cornerback to rejoin the team. Revis was looking for some “extra” perks, some of which involved good old coach. Weekly World News has uncovered the full workings of the new deal…
~ When not practicing or playing in a game, Revis is to be carried around everywhere by Rex Ryan in a specially made pouch – think mother Kangaroo.
~ Arnold Palmer is to be present at every Jets game so he can make Revis fresh Arnold Palmer’s (half lemonade/half iced tea) – nobody does it better.
~ An intern is to follow Revis everywhere during practice with a full-sized mirror – so Revis can constantly see what the best cornerback in the NFL looks like.
~ The Jets will build Revis his own amusement park – appropriately named “Revis Island.” – How they will fund this, we will never know.
~ Given the fact that Revis is as close as it gets to a human highlight reel – Stuart Scott and/or Scott Van Pelt will always be around to provide clever punch lines for his greatness.
~ Before the year is over, Rex Ryan will take on Joey Chestnut and strip him of the world eating championship.
Now we can see why Revis finally decided to come back. A great contract for a great player.

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