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HARVARD RATED #1 PARTY SCHOOL

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Princeton Review’s 2013 list of best party schools is out.  Harvard is #1 – for the third year in a row!

Princeton Review has come out with their list of top party schools for 2013, and Harvard takes the title for the second time in a row.  College students in Cambridge lead the way in party fun. In celebration, The Harvard Glee Club sang “The Camel Drivers” for five hours straight.  Students rattled noisemakers all night.

Harvard, always considered the #1 school in academics, has recently becoming the biggest party school in the country.  “We want to be #1 in everything.  And we have come up with a formula that will guarantee we stay #1 for the foreseeable future.  We’ve come up with the Party Algorithm, ” said Thomas Benson, Dean of Parties at Harvard.

“The schools on this list are mostly universities with strong academic and research profiles, as well as highly successful athletic programs,” a representative for West Virginia, the second ranked school, said in a news release. “But in the big picture, clearly this list has no real credibility. We should be number one.”

Harvard also topped the “Lots of Beer” list while Providence College was No.1 for “Lots of Hard Liquor.”

Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, led the “Stone Cold Sober” list.

“Schools on the ‘Party Schools’ list are those at which surveyed students’ answers indicated a combination of: low personal daily study hours (outside of class), high usages of alcohol and drugs on campus and high popularity on campus for frats/sororities,” the Princeton Review said on its website.

The Princeton Review is not affiliated with Princeton University.  It is a test preparation and college admissions consulting company based in Framingham, Massachusetts.

Here is the list of the top 20 party schools:

1) Harvard University

2) Syracuse University

3) University of Iowa

4) Ohio University

5) Sarah Lawrence College

6) Santa Monica College

7) University of Florida in Gainesville

8) University of California-Santa Barbara

9) Florida State University

10) Rutgers University

11) The Citadel

12) Penn State University

13) DePauw University

14) University of Wisconsin-Madison

15) Grinnell  College

16)  Texas A&M

17) University of Maryland

18) University of South Carolina

19) University of Notre Dame

20) Oral Roberts University

Hard-partying college students around the country are up in arms over the selection.  Jeb Milkin, a senior at the University of Tennessee said, “No way, man!!  Harvard is for nerds and dorks and boring people. There’s no way they can out party us at Tennessee. No freaking way.”

To prove his party prowess, Jeb put on a gas mask and did a mega bong hit AND a keg-stand at the same time. The Princeton Review, the elite organization that also scores the SATs, gave Jeb only a 620 (out of 800) on his keg stand.  Meanwhile, Charlotte Blackmon of Harvard University, who was valedictorian of her Choate high school class and had perfect SAT scores, also did a keg stand for the Princeton Review judges. Her keg stand earned her a 800.  J.T. complained because he thought the judges were influenced by her exposed butt cheek. You decide. Here’s Charlotte in action:

The Harvard guys never want to be out done in the Harvard Keg Stand competition:

Harvard President, Drew Gilpin Faust,  was not surprised.  “Harvard has a long history of wild parties. Just last winter we had a Scrabble Scramble that was just divine.  “I was bouncing off the walls” said Arthur Goldstein, a freshman at Harvard.  “I had two oatmeal cookies and a glass of lemonade. I was up until 2 a.m.!”

Harvard girls preparing for another wild one:

According to the Princeton Review, Harvard has some of the best “party clubs” in the country. Here are some of the wild events that were happening on campus when the Princeton Review Party Crew visited:

* Ballroom Dance-o-rama
* Shakespeare Sonnet Night with Elena Kagan
* In Vino Veritas: Wine Tasting with Paul Giamatti
* Midnight Squash (Co-ed!)
* Metaphysical 17th Century Poetry Slam
* Corporate Legal Brief Readings – in your briefs!
* Timed Rubik’s Cube Competition
* Afternoon Soda-palooza
* Keg Stand Instruction with Charlotte Blackmon

Harvard students, who are used to being #1 in everything, were ecstatic to hear the news. They want college students across the country to know that they can throw down, too. “I always knew we had the best soirees,” said sophomore Jiddu Balasubramaniu. “There’s a lot of Harvard Haters out there, but we don’t care. We’re better than everyone else… in everything. Forever.”

To celebrate, Harvard students had a Scone and Herbal Tea Party in Harvard Square.  The main attraction:  Charlotte Blackmon doing keg stands.

What do you think?  Would you be able to handle a Harvard Party?