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BAGHDAD, Iraq –   U.S. military advisors made a startling discovery on the outskirts of this city.  They found Eden!

“I knew it had to come out sooner or later,” Colonel Sara Pentine confirmed. “We found the biblical Garden of Eden.  But that was just the beginning of our amazing discoveries.”

When the military first entered the sun-bleached desert 5 miles north of Baghdad, they got a strange blip on their radioactive mass spectrometer.

“The RMS was showing an extremely small dense object 30 feet underground” Colonel Pentine said, “We called in the hazmat team to dig it up.”

Dressed in radiation-proof uniforms, soldiers began excavating the area. What they discovered seemed harmless enough: The withered remains of an ancient tree.

“The bark looked as if it ha been blasted by lightning. Pentine said. “We dug carefully around the trunk and soon unearthed the skeletal remains of a large snake beside the mass we had been reading.

“The object was red and looked like an apple,” she said.

Dr. Sam Isaacs – an archaeologist working with the military to protect ancient sites – was helicoptered to the site.

“It was definitely a petrified apple,” Dr. Isaacs said. “What’s more, it look as though two bites had been taken from it.  The team grew very silent as we realized we had uncovered the Garden of Eden.  This was the Tree fo Knowledge and we had the very apple Eve had pulled from its branches.

“Now, according to Genesis, God expelled Adam and Eve from paradise for tasting the forbidden fruit which would have given them great knowledge and allowed them to live forever, “Dr. Isaac went on.”  It occurred to me that the fruit might still possess amazing power.  I recommended that it be taken back to the U.S. for study.”

The military agreed, though the apple was not brought to a university or research institute.  It was taken to the top-secret Military Applications Center in Hidden Sands, Arizona.  There, a team of scientists carefully cut in to the apple and extracted  a seed from the core.

“I felt that what they were doing was wrong,” Dr. Isaac said.  “I wanted to study the apple to take time and learn its secrets.  They just wanted to grow anew one as soon as possible!”

“We entire military is excited about this discovery,” said General Matthew James, who was in charge of Project Apple Corps.  “If Dr. Isaac was correct and this was fruit from th Tree of Knowledge, it was possible that by feeding it to our men we could create a race of super-smart, super-soldiers, sort of like avenging angels.  We would be irresponsible not to take that opportunity.

The seed was placed in super enriched soil in a MAC greenhouse.  Exposed to artificial sunlight, it grew rapidly.

“Within two weeks we had a healthy tree and a nice red apple to test on a volunteer, “General James said.

Twenty-year-old Private First Class Stephen Rogers was selected to take a bite.  He was brought to the greenhouse and instructed to pluck the apple.

“I’ve been in combat, but reaching for the forbidden fruit scared me,” Private Rogers said later. “Still, an order is an order.”

As the General and his team watched, Rogers pulled the apple from the tree.   Suddenly, the humid air began to swirl.

“A moment later the ghostly image of a naked woman appeared beside the tree,” General James said.  “She whispered, “Don’t.” Naturally, we all stopped what were doing.  Then she spoke again.

“You have a paradise here,” she said. “Do not bite the apple. Do not spoilt it!”

General James instructed Private Rogers to put the apple down.  The young soldier obeyed and the men backed away from the tree.

“As we stood there, the lady picked up the apple, and put it back on the limb,” General James told us.  “It was really eeried to see this bright red apple in her pale white hand.  As soon as it was reattached to the tree, she vanished.”

The military detachment left the greenhouse and locked the door. The room was declared off-limits to all personnel until the top brass could decide what to do.

“For now, we’re doing nothing,’ General James aid. “But, let me just say this… we are all wearing fig leaves.”

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