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NYC WANTS CAFES ON SUBWAY


NEW YORK – The New York City subway system may soon be taking reservations – for dinner!

After the now-infamous spaghetti brawl last Friday in Brooklyn, subway riders and elected officials have decided to embrace the train-eating trend.

HERE’S THE INCIDENT:  CAUGHT ON VIDEOTAPE.

“I say, ‘Let them eat!’ It’s not worth fighting over,” said Mayor Mike Bloomberg at a press conference from the A-train platform at Brooklyn’s Jay St./Borough Hall station.

“I don’t think this is a fight we can win. Some mornings, I even eat breakfast as I sit on the downtown 6 en route to City Hall. Of course, I’d much rather enjoy my oatmeal and seasonal fruit in the comfort of my own townhouse. But what can you do? We’re New Yorkers! We’re on the move!”

Bloomberg has met with local restaurant owners from all five boroughs and some national chains to discuss opening dining cars on the busiest subway lines.

“We’ve had plenty of interest, but we’re still in planning mode. Ideally, we’ll be able to fit many cars with full kitchens. We hope to offer a variety of cuisines to represent all the cultures of this great city.”

Bloomberg has been the most vocal supporter of the controversial “Meals On Tracks” plan.

“Trains have always had dining cars. It’s a great way to unwind. Have a sandwich and an iced tea after a long day at the office. Sounds good to me! Not to mention, it’s a way to inject some capital into the MTA’s budget. I get a sandwich. The MTA gets a few extra dollars. That’s what New Yorkers do! We eat, we spend!”

The MTA is developing “Transfer Combo Meals” so passengers can continue meals after they transfer trains. Maurice Goyet of the MTA’s logistics department explains, “Let’s say you work on Wall St. and live in Rego Park. Wouldn’t it be great to have a light first course like a soup on the uptown 6, then transfer to the F for a hamburger or even a steak? Bloomberg’s plan could change commuting as we know it.”