LOS ANGELES, CA – Adam Lambert is heavily favored to win this season of American Idol. Is America ready for its first possibly gay idol?
Message boards and church groups have been talking for months about Adam Lambert’s gender bending ways. The aspiring singer has raised questions about his sexuality by being well groomed, wearing eye-liner, and being photographed in drag kissing other men.
To date Lambert, or Glambert as he is known by his fans, has given no definite answer about his sexuality.
Lambert has received even more attention this week as Revlon has signed the popular singer to be the new face of their makeup line. A Revlon spokesperson said, “We believe he will be the hip new face that would appeal to the young and fabulous and artistic emo boys alike.”
Several church groups are calling for a boycott of American Idol and Revlon. One Alabama pastor was quoted as saying, “If we allow our young people to idolize this man, he will turn them all homosexual and our country will die out in a generation or two!”
When sought for response by reporters, Lambert said, “Oh honey, I ain’t that good!”
Like all other winners, if Lambert is crowned the next American Idol he will spend the next year living in a Temple/Mansion in southern California. During his tenure as the American Idol, he will receive homage from worshipping fans, daily sacrifices of probiotic brunch tortillas and the opportunity to spread his message to stores across the country.
After his crown is passed on he will be dipped in polyurethane to preserve him for all time, and placed in the lobby of Fox Television.