WASILLA, AK – Records and eyewitnesses have come to light that prior to announcing her candidacy for the Vice Presidency; Sarah Palin shot a Bigfoot from a helicopter.
A government helicopter was seen flying low over the Chugach National Park with what witnesses described as “a sexy librarian shooting out the side.” Employees at a local bait shop report seeing a similar woman only hours before carrying an infant in a camouflage Baby Bjorn.
The Bigfoot, or Sasquatch as it is known in scientific circles, was found dead on the outskirts of the park, just south of Wasilla, Alaska. Preliminary forensics reports confirm that an adult male Sasquatch was shot in the face with Palin’s trademark 5mm M4 Carbine Assault Rifle.
Environmental groups are in an uproar at the hunting death of a rare and notoriously reclusive species. Efforts to have the Sasquatch placed on the endangered species list have met with repeated opposition from state legislature, since protecting the ‘Missing Link’ could be seen as validating evolution.
Conservatives have immediately rallied to their party’s new star, citing that gun ownership and hunting are indelible parts of American culture. Indeed this point is hard to argue, as John Adams was notorious for having captured what he called a “Skunk Ape” and killing it with his bare hands on the White House lawn in front of a paying audience.
WWN Shop
September 16th, 2008 at 5:44 am
wow on my birthday the sasqautch was shot. WOW
September 16th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
It makes me mad as hell that people are out there shooting Bigfeet from hellocopters! These shy and reclusive creatures are probably smarter than a dolphin.
September 16th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Bigfoot/Palin ‘08 !!
September 16th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
This is so bogus. The Bigfeet range is actually increasing due to global warming. They’re not half as rare as the stupid environmentalists would have you believe. We could pump ANWR and use some of the money to protect their habitat. Screw the caribou.
September 16th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
“…shooting Bigfeet…”
It’s “bigfoots”, moron.
September 16th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Seeing how underpowered the 5.56mm NATO round is for taking out Bigfoots (Bigfeet?), I gotta give her credit for superb shot placement.
September 16th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Oh, get off her case. No one’s ever going to miss seeing those big, stinky apes anyway.
September 16th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Wow, a 5mm M4 carbine! Certainly a new variant of the poodleshooter, and not, BTW, the rifle shown in the figure.
September 16th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I want to marry this woman!
September 16th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Palin has hunt down BIGFOOT … now she is after even bigger game—Washington.
September 16th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
This woman really can do anything!
September 16th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
So they say she shot it with a 5.56mm M4 and they picture her with a 7.62X39 AK47….I cry foul. Everyone in Alaska knows the only thing that can really stop a Bigfoot is a .50 BMG.
September 16th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
This is so bogus. The rifle in the picture is a Russian AK 47 Variant of some type and not a good ol’ American M4 carbine. Plus the m4 uses the U.S. Military .223/5.56 mm cartridge while the AK47 variant is probably using a 7.62 39 mm round, which would have a bigger kick to take down a Bigfoot.
This is actually a step up from the BB gun they had her posing with in the bikini picture. That was so fake. This one is not setup well either. I had to cut it down some to make a good desktop background. How rude.
Good Hunting Sarahcuda!
Cheers!
Mark
I’d rather get my brains blown out in the wild than wait in terror at the slaughterhouse. – Craig Volk, Northern Exposure, A-Hunting We Will Go, 1991
September 16th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
I bet the hide would make a kick-ass pair of shoes! “Palin Pumps- For The Woman Who Does Everything And Looks Great Doing It!!
KA-BLAMM!!!!
McCain/Palin ‘08
September 16th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
I think the act of hunting with a baby facing forward abominable and that this is worse than Britney letting her child drive her car. K-Fed wants a piece now!!!!!
September 16th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
hey everyone etc wow ROFLL this is a very funny new article about gov. sarah palin killing a sasquatch creature. good afternoon. bill green connecticut sasquatch researcher.
September 16th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Hey, that’s my back yard in New Jersey!
September 16th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
It’s realy great to see Palin upholding gun rights. Remember when McCain said the feds will never agian spend $3 million studying the DNA of bears? Do you see the connection? Who sees it and who doesn’t? Once there was a white Sass-squash at my school, and she said that Bon jovi was no longer cool, and that we should start talking like cucumbers. It was 1948. And Palin was born like a hundred years since then, or something
September 16th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
[[ "These shy and reclusive creatures are probably smarter than a dolphin." ]]
Which puts them about three jumps higher on the evolutionary scale than a registered democrat.
September 16th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
what a f***in hoax
September 16th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
Mental note not to go hunting with Palin. Cheney’s buddy got shot in the face. You know where Palin will shoot you. Got to be careful with those running mates.
September 17th, 2008 at 11:22 am
All this talk about Palin???? I bet the baby shot Bigfoots!
September 18th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
LOL, crap much……im looking for a fake article fora science class…..THIS IS IT!
September 19th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I’d like to see some ear and eye protection on that baby Mrs. Palin!!!
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:39 am
you guys are the shit
September 24th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
CORRECTION: Because of an editing error, the Palin photograph had the wrong cutline. The correct one is:
George W. Bush, dressed as a gorilla for the annual Foggy Bottom Costume and Pork Barrel Party, was accidentally shot today by Sarah Palin. “I was just faster on the draw than Cheney,” said Palin. “His gun jammed. That’ll teach him to reload his own rounds.”
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:17 pm
yeah sarah palin rock my sox
October 17th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
McCain ‘08
October 21st, 2008 at 6:40 am
CUTE!
October 28th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
That poor bigfoot! What if it had a family huh?
I don’t think we have any Bigfoots/feet here in New Zealand. Think they could survive over here?
January 22nd, 2009 at 11:45 am
It's okay. She had a "sasquatch liscense" with a two-bag limit. She's got one more to go.
But if she just left it there to rot, and didn't skin it or nothin', she should be arrested.
March 11th, 2009 at 12:01 am
I cannot believe anyone thinks anything from this newspaper is true. This is just another “Rag Bag” newspaper, with outragously bogus stories that pathetic people think are true.
Its just a joke, get over it and don’t take this BS seriously. If you don’t like what I have to say, tuff crap, its america and I have a right to freedom of speach
March 24th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Er… you forgot to mention the most obvious sign of it being fake: SASQUATCH/YETI/BIGFOOT IS A MYTH!
March 26th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Wait a minute, that's Chewbacca!!! Murderer.
March 27th, 2009 at 10:19 am
Much as it pains me, I must inform WWN and their readership that Gov. Palin did NOT bag a bigfoot.
That's actually Bawney Fwank, who forgot to shave his back that day…
March 28th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
SARAH PALIN IS BIGFOOT. America voted the retarded Monkey President Bush in twice. So the GOP caught and shaved a Bigfoot and called it Palin. Unfortunately the Bigfoot they caught rode the short bus to school.
April 9th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
i thought you meant "had sex with." my bad.
April 12th, 2009 at 5:31 am
Is this stuff supposed to be true?
April 17th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
After 41 years it now can be seen. Yes the Patterson and Gimlin Bigfoot film is a hoax. The proof. Bob Gimlin claim he was on his horse the whole time not true for Bob Gimlin was found in 1 of the still shots and he was standing behind the brush as the Bigfoot walked by him. There was two image of men taken out of the film however the image of the two men still can be seen. In the beginning of the film you will see Patterson going down a road on his horse as someone was filming him and at the bottom of the frame you will see another man hat come in and out of frame that makes more then just the two men there as it is claim. There is a lot more I can tell and show and the key word is show. Yes after my 6 month research on the P/G film it now can be shown as a hoax and I have the proof to show.
May 6th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Palin and the Bigfoot
Palin was hovering about and the Bigfoot male saw her belly button. When he heard her calling to him, he recognized a love of equal intellect and made the mistake of having an erection. Palin had to shoot that down.
Lou Paris
May 7th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
you all know this is fake right?
May 13th, 2009 at 8:44 am
LOL keywords "sexy librarian" and "camouflage baby bjorn"! I wonder how many other stories have those two tags.
May 16th, 2009 at 3:47 am
Palin has hunt down BIGFOOT … now she is after even bigger game—Washington.
June 13th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
You know, when I first saw that headline, I misread that word as "bang."
June 14th, 2009 at 3:39 am
Hmm. Let's see here. First of all, if Palin has a 5.56 NATO firearm, she is breaking the law. Second of all, that picture is so photoshopped its not even funny. Third, that's a Russian ak-105, which is not for export to the United States, or any country for that matter. (The rifle is also stretched out of proportion). Notice how the shadows are different on her and the "sasquatch", as well as the fidelity of the photo. The actual rifle is about three feet long, so palin is about 2'6". Please, WWN, stop putting out false BULLSHIT.
Oh, and btw–McCain spontaneously changed 44% of his policies since running for president to fit the Republican party's ideals. Palin is basically a parrot, designed to win votes by spitting out random mudsling phrases like "pallin around with terrorists", which just shows how much of a hypocrite she is, considering her husband was a member of an alaskan secessionist party whose leader said, "I hate America. I don't want to be a part of its system, and if it was up to me, I'd remove it from the face of the earth." Suck it, Conservative powermanipulators.
June 14th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
lol i could use photoshop for far better shit than that
June 19th, 2009 at 4:41 am
That Sasquatch rug is going to look great in front of the fireplace in the Governors Mansion. How can we get a governor like her? If she isn't elected as the next President then I'm moving to Alaska to start a Sasquatch hunting guide business.
June 22nd, 2009 at 3:49 am
….u… u guys know it fake right?