THERE IS NO MARS!
Scientists at the Bakersmith Astronomy Laboratory in Yuba City, California were excited this summer when they finished building the world’s most powerful telescope: the Paladin …
BEZOS TO HEAD TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH!
NEW YORK, NY – Jeff Bezos is going to the center of the earth! For years he has been working on his Blue Origin project, …
YOUR BRAIN IS IN OUR JAR!
“IT’S LIKE YOUR BRAIN IS IN OUR JAR!”: TRUMP PAIRS WITH TECH GIANTS ON MIND-CONTROL TECHNOLOGY! Donald Trump has been involved in a series of …
MIRACLE TEA!
Years of painstaking research have produced a miraculous new herbal tea that cures everything from colds and allergies to heartache, high blood pressure, and even …
BAT BOY PICKS BIGFOOT FOR RUNNING MATE!
ANCHORAGE, AL – Bat Boy has decided on his 2020 running mate. After careful consideration, he has chosen Bigfoot to join him in his independent …
LA JETPACK OFFICERS TAKEOFF!
LOS ANGELES – Weekly World News exclusive! Sources close to members of the Los Angeles Police Department say that they plan to launch their JetPack …
STOCK-PICKING CHIMP IS BACK!
“To Err is Simian” Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp Alas, Uncle Lancelot saw it coming: the stock-picking chimp violated his cardinal rule – “don’t fall in …
HALF-MAN, HALF-ALLIGATOR!
ST. MARTINVILLE, LA – Deep in the bayou of Louisiana a strange creature has been found – one that was once human! “Me and my …
ALIEN SPACESHIPS TO ATTACK!
WASHINGTON, DC – Three giant alien spaceships are approaching earth and should land on the planet in early November of this year. The United States …
PANDORA’S BOX FOUND IN OPRAH’S ATTIC!
MONTECITO, CA – Greek scientists doing research at the University of California at Santa Barbara have announced a major discovery. They’ve found Pandora’s Box in …