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FLYING WITCHES ARRESTED IN KANSAS
Hundreds of witches were arrested in Kansas this week. They violated Kansas City airspace.
SOLAR FLARE HITS EARTH!
WASHINGTON — The sun is bombarding Earth with radiation from the biggest solar storm ever.
U.S. CONFIRMS EXISTENCE OF MERMAIDS
The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) confirmed that mermaids exist and that they are growing in numbers.u
WHITE HOUSE BANS REPORTERS
The White House announced today that due to the increasing number of scandals – reporters will not be allowed at The White House until further notice.
ICE TSUNAMIS
Ice tsunamis slam Minnesota!
OBAMA SEIZES CONTROL OF THE INTERNET
The White House reportedly announced that President has taken full control of the internet – issuing an Executive Order to do so.
BIDEN RUNS FIGHT CLUB IN WHITE HOUSE BASEMENT
Vice president caught making flyers on shared copier.
KILLER SNAILS IN TEXAS!
African land snails are attacking thousands of Texans!
OBAMA TO HOST WOODSTOCK 2013!
President Obama is planning a massive outdoor concert this summer in upstage New York.
CHARLES RAMSEY NATIONAL HERO!
Charles Ramsey, who saved three girls that had been missing for ten years, has been declared a national hero!
