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CICADAS ATTACK!
Billions of cicadas are terrorizing the East Coast of the United States.
WORLD’S LONGEST PYTHON
A Miami man captured and killed the largest-ever Burmese python ever recorded.
DINOSAUR ZOO TO OPEN IN SOUTH AFRICA
Excited scientists are hatching eggs recently found in 130 million-year-old dinosaur nest in South Africa.
SEA BUTTERFLIES
Sea butterflies discovered off the coast of California.
FLYING WITCHES ARRESTED IN KANSAS
Hundreds of witches were arrested in Kansas this week. They violated Kansas City airspace.
SOLAR FLARE HITS EARTH!
WASHINGTON — The sun is bombarding Earth with radiation from the biggest solar storm ever.
U.S. CONFIRMS EXISTENCE OF MERMAIDS
The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) confirmed that mermaids exist and that they are growing in numbers.u
WHITE HOUSE BANS REPORTERS
The White House announced today that due to the increasing number of scandals – reporters will not be allowed at The White House until further notice.
ICE TSUNAMIS
Ice tsunamis slam Minnesota!
OBAMA SEIZES CONTROL OF THE INTERNET
The White House reportedly announced that President has taken full control of the internet – issuing an Executive Order to do so.
