WOMAN FINDS GIANT KFC BUCKET!
WAYNESBORO, GA – A Georgia woman found a seven-foot tall Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket in her front yard.
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LOCUSTS INVADE DETROIT
A swarm of locusts covered Detroit yesterday, raising fears that Chicago could be next.
5,000 YEAR OLD WRITING
BEIJING — Archaeologists have discovered the world’s oldest known primitive writing, dating back 5,000 years.
KILLER SNAILS IN TEXAS!
African land snails are attacking thousands of Texans!
IRAN PLANS TO BOMB HOLLYWOOD
Iran is planning to bomb Hollywood over the Oscar-winning movie Argo because of its ‘unrealistic portrayal’ of the country.
ED ANGER SAYS, “I HATE ST. PATRICK’S DAY”
I’m madder than a Irishman without cabbage in his pants.
LEPRECHAUNS ATTACK!
Wild leprechauns have moved into Seattle and are responsible for thousands of vicious attacks.
FIRST WOMAN PRIEST
A Roman Catholic church ordained a 70-year-old woman a priest in Louisville, Kentucky.
EARTH TO COLLIDE WITH NIBIRU ON OCTOBER 17, 2017!
UPDATE: NASA scientists have reportedly confirmed that the planet Nibiru will collide with Earth in November of this year.
DONALD TRUMP BUYS SCRANTON
Donald Trump has solved Scranton’s financial woes… He bought the entire town!
