Kremlin Releases Pop Album! In an increasingly complicated world, one thing is still true: music lifts the soul. That is why the Russian government has decided to release its first-ever music album. The album, whose title translates as “Every Note Is True,” consists of Russian government ministers singing classic rock and pop songs. Grigory Satyrenko, … READ MORE
AND IT’S RUN BY WEIRD KIDS! Slim Dubrow and his brother, Pickens, lean next to their battered pick-up truck adjacent to a nameless Kansas field. They have a tale to tell. The brothers were digging a well on their farmland when, suddenly, all the equipment, as well as the two brothers, were sucked into a … READ MORE
TENURE LOCKED IN FOR ETERNITY Tenure gives professors the right to teach and do research for their entire lives. Now, thanks to a surprise ruling from the Illinois Board of Education Labor Affairs, tenure also means employment after death! Just about everyone was shocked by the 7-2 ruling. But not labor lawyer Joe Melon. “I … READ MORE
“I’m Already Dead!” Wearing a mask to stop the transmission of the Covid-19, has become a political statement to some. The world is exposing “Karens” who shun the idea. But one zombie, a former Florida man, is blasting his former employer for firing him for NOT wearing a mask! “I’m already dead”, exclaimed Frank, who … READ MORE
Science from the Sea! For months, scientists have been scrambling to develop a vaccine for the novel coronavirus that has raged across the country and the planet. “We’ve been scrambling to develop a vaccine for the novel coronavirus,” said Dr. Joy Martin, a senior fellow at the National Institute for Virological Research, “that has raged … READ MORE
Alien-AppRoved KICKSTARTER CAMPAIGN IS Launched! LOST CAVERNS, WV – Weekly World News announces its $50,000 crowdfunding campaign on Kickstarter! The purpose is to expand our reporting, graphics, and video production. The Weekly World News Kickstarter campaign is already endorsed by many across the universe. It is easy to see why. Men in Black have always … READ MORE
ARE YOU READY FOR BRAD PITT FROM THE BLACK LAGOON? BRAD’S VERY INTERESTED, SAY SOURCES (Editor’s Note: WWN is happy to welcome legendary Hollywood gossip columnist SaZu JeJune to its staff. JeJune exploded onto the movie scene in the “greed is good” 1980s, when her access to Hollywood’s hottest and her freewheeling literary style was … READ MORE
WITHOUT GIGS, THEY TURN TO A LIFE OF CRIME It’s one o’ clock in the morning and a camouflaged clown car sits in the shadows near Beverly Glenn Boulevard. The car is filled a bevy of scrunched-up clowns. Before the pandemic, they made a handsome living performing at birthday parties hosted by the rich elites … READ MORE
Scientists Warn “The Invasion Already Happened!” In movies, aliens are usually depicted as humanoid creatures with smooth features and large eyes. But Howard T. Houseplant, an astronomer and parapsychologist with the Department Of Distant Phenomena, says that the truth is far more interesting. “Aliens are everywhere,” he said. “I run a lab where we sample … READ MORE
He only kills other ghosts! The world had endured some pretty grim stories that arise from the evil that men do. Serial killers have acted as judge, jury, and executioner, taking the lives of others into their own hands. But what happens when a serial killer takes the afterlives of others into his own hands? … READ MORE