THE $100,000 BILL IS BACK

WASHINGTON, DC –  The US Treasury is putting the $100,000 bill back into circulation.
US Secretary of Treasury, Timothy Geithner, announced today that the US mint will finally print the 100,000 bill for circulation.
“Since President Obama recently agreed to the two-year extension of the high-end tax cuts initiated by Former President Bush, it just made sense to put this bill into circulation once and for all,” said Geithner, “The über rich still need to have cash that they can actually use.”
A version of the bill was originally produced in 1934 for one series but was never truly put into circulation. The bills are used, but only to pay off internal debts between various government agencies and banks.
The new bill will be strikingly similar to the original, but Woodrow Wilson’s portrait will be replaced by a more recognizable individual. Sources have told Weekly World News that it is a toss up between Lady Gaga and Jesus Christ. WWN photographer, Boy Mack, had the special privilege of photographing test runs of both versions of the bill.

 

“I am ecstatic that the Department of Treasury has finally gotten with the program. I have been waiting for this bill for a long, long time. I mean, what are my type of people supposed to do with 20s?” said Warren Buffet, one of America’s richest men, “I am hoping to see Gaga on the bill, what a looker!”
The Treasury Department is scheduled to finalize its decision between Jesus and Gaga in the second quarter of 2011.

UPDATE: After WWN broke this story the Treasury Department realized that it had made a grave error in its portrait selection for the new bill. Surprisingly, the government is actually listening to the masses and has agreed to bring Bat Boy into consideration for the new bill.

Upon hearing about the decision, WWN sent staff photographer Boy Mack back to DC to document the new version of the bill.

“I definitely want to see Bat Boy on the bill,” said Oprah Winfrey, “his story is so compelling. He really deserves it more than any of the others.”

 



PHOTOS by BOY MACK

21 thoughts on “THE $100,000 BILL IS BACK”

  1. I thought this was a fake story until my uncle Conrad confirmed it for me. I don't get why other news media is not reporting this. You would think it would have made front news on the Wall Street Journal or something. Thanks so much! I will be using this story for my school's "current events" this week. Thanks, Weekly World News!!

    Reply
  2. I'm tired of carrying around $100.00's bring on the $100,000.00 bill i can easily carry around a COOL million & nobody will ever know !!

    Reply
    • Mr. Lake, I have something to tell you. It's jackalope hunter, not Jackalope. I hate being called Jackalope. They keep destroying my green bean and tomato plants every year. Last year, they put poison ivy in my front lawn. So, please, do not call me Jackalope.

    • The is an UNCONFIRMED report that Jackalope Hunter died during a Bigfoot/Gootan Battle over some of the Batboy $10,000 bill samples.

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