IRELAND WANTS TO BE 51st STATE

DUBLIN –  Amid a growing financial crisis, Ireland’s Prime Minister has asked the U.S. to make Ireland the 51st state.

Ireland is in the midst of a major financial crisis that is causing panic on global stock markets.  Many think that Ireland, like Greece, will ask the EU to bail them out.

But WWN has learned that Ireland has had it with the European Union and has made a request to the Obama Administration to fast-track Ireland and it’s application for U.S. statehood.

Ireland would be the first state added to the United States since Hawaii became a state on August 21, 1959.  The Obama Administration and Congress are putting the Irish request at the top of the lame-duck agenda.  “I think we can get it done,” said President Obama, who is of Irish ancestry.

Ireland is on the brink of insolvency, which has helped drive down the S&P 500 stock index by nearly 4 percent over the last few days.

Ireland has one huge problem that has caused it to consider becoming an American state:  a failed banking sector that Ireland’s government can no longer rescue on its own.

Ireland is in the midst of a real estate bust that could trump even the ruinous downturns that turned parts of southern California and Nevada into suburban ghost towns, with home-grown banks stoking it all. Now, those banks are trying to manage catastrophic losses. The Irish government has effectively nationalized the nation’s biggest banks by guaranteeing their debt, which would be akin to the U.S. government taking over Citigroup, Bank of America, J.P. Morgan Chase and Wells Fargo.

“If the Irish banks go down, the Irish government also goes down,” says economist Jacob Kirkegaard of the Peterson Institute for International Economics.  “They have no choice but to ask either the EU or America for help.  Most Irish citizens would rather become part of the U.S. than be beholden to the E.U.”

Americans are keen on the idea of having Dublin (and the Temple Bar) part of the United States,

But the U.S. has already announced that the practice of kissing the Blarney Stone will be banned.  “It’s not sanitary and it’s too dangerous. That practice will stop.   Also, the rock will be renamed The Barney Frank Stone.”

Irish women are already getting excited about being part of the U.S.A and American men are thrilled to have new “talent” in the country.

St. Patrick WILL be driving the snakes out the America, before Ireland becomes the 51st state.  Naturally, many politicians are worried.

Leprechauns will be protected by the Civil Rights Act and they have already been assured that they will get at least one casino – in Chicago.

The U.S. wants Northern Ireland in the deal.  British Prime Minister David Cameron is willing to give up Northern Ireland – “as long as the money is right.”

Irish Prime Minister, who will become the first Governor of the State of Ireland,  is thrilled to be putting the deal together.  “I don’t see any reason why this can’t get this done by the end of the year.”  He does have one request:  “we’re gonna have to do something about American beer.  That’s a dealbreaker.”

Ed Anger is NOT happy about this news.  “I’m madder than a leprechaun with a rubber shillelagh.  I don’t want those boozed-up, potato eaters in my country!”  Read Ed Anger’s full thoughts on the Irish…
HERE.

Too late, Ed.  Ireland has a new chant:  “U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A.”   Are YOU excited?

27 thoughts on “IRELAND WANTS TO BE 51st STATE”

  1. Don’t do it Ireland! Don’t forget about the millions of tattoo-ed Eire-enthusiasts! This means you Celtic Cross Boy, Sweet Clover Girl, Guinness Pint Ass Man, and even you Leprechaunian Biceps. And of course you too, Irish Flag Hag. How will these tattoos continue to bear any significance? Will they even be legal in the “U.S.”? If not, it’s going to be nothing but green turtlenecks for this guy.

  2. Other than new talent what does Ireland have to offer? We already have the Celtics and Guinness we import without any trouble .. turn them away

  3. Anything but the EU. I have travelled to many EU Countries, lived and worked in the UK. During a short holiday / vacation spent in Manhattan, I felt more at home there in a short time than any other Country.
    I have never felt European and have nothing in common with Europe
    What have we got to offer the USA?. Good question. Unfortunately it's probably to late for us to get out of the EU now however, the question what can we offer.
    Our position close to mainland Europe, food production capable of exporting enough food to export and feed over 40 million people. A multi billion Dollar industry of natural resources. We may need help taking back our resources from those arrogant self serving European bureaucratic hypocrites.
    US multinational Company’s are well integrated in Ireland servicing the European Markets already. If asked most Irish would have voted for a union with the USA and not with the EU, even during the Celtic tiger days.

    Paul. Dublin, Ireland

  4. 100% NO!! BECAUSE THE 51ST STATE IS PRESERVED TO ABSAROKA….. THE PART OF MAINLAND USA… IRELAND IS JUST A BUNCH OF IDIOTIC PEOPLE OF EUROPE…

  5. Why do we want make Ireland part of the states when they have such a huge debt? With the financial crisis we are in, we should be eliminating states instead of taking them on – do you hear me Alaska, Montana, Arkansas and New Mexico. We could trade Alaska to Canada for some Alberta Oil fields and we could just give New Mexico to Peru.

    • You dummy! Alaska IS the major oil producer in US. Ever hear of the Alaska oil pipeline?Peru is in south America,stupid. Learn geography!!!

  6. 100% NO TO CIVIL WAR IN USA CUZ WE AMERICANS ARE UNITED. BLACK OR WHITE WE UNITED NOT DIVIDED.. I WANT TO HEAR THE PEOPLE OF STATES . ONE AMERICA… JEFFERSON, SUPERIOR, ABSAROKA, LONG ISLAND AND THE CREATION OF LINCOLN STATE. THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA MUST CREATE MORE STATE NOT 51ST STATE BUT 100 STATES IN MAINLAND AMERICA… GOD BLESS USA

  7. All the Irish should be shipped to the tiny republic of Nauru fortwith.British settlers could thus
    decontaminate the place and turn the place into a hallmark of British excellence.

  8. There is no market in the US for fast food outlets offering only a boiled potatoe and a beer as
    a menu. Ireland should return to it's former status as a British protectorate and be damned
    gratefull that the British will take them back.

  9. I think if we're going to annex Ireland, we should consider the proposal from Boehner a bi-partisan group that's writing a bill to incorporate Puerto Rico, Guam and Philippines. The Republicans are interested in the low cost labor and trade potential, but it appear that to gain Democratic support there is a new amendment being floated.

    The "American Coastal Enhancement Act" would ensure that Americans over 50 have improved access to purchase beach front homes with government loan guarantees. Philippines, for example, has over 7100 islands and a coastline that is 150% longer than that of the US including Alaska and Hawaii.

    With all this new beach front property in the hands of good Americans, and with Ireland under our flag, it's possible that Americans in the lower 48 will adopt San Miguel beer as a favorite while Guinness is expected to make inroads into the Puerto Rican market. Corona is lobbying for equal access to new trade opportunities.

  10. Hrmm that was weird, my comment got eaten. Anyway I wanted to say that it’s nice to know that someone else also mentioned this as I had trouble finding the same info elsewhere. This was the first place that told me the answer. Thanks.

  11. I always thought it was it was the English that would be the 51st state, They do enough arseholing over there. and the americans would love to subsidies the gracious queen and her family; Also the English have a larger debt than Greece

  12. Macho-good question. If you ask most physicists who write books, the amount they make per hour is laughably small. The only really profitable texts are the big intro texts (with the occasional exception, i.e. Jackson). But does one really need new texts for most of those? And many will do this for the prestige and recognition.

  13. I wouldn’t want my country to join America because it would upset the Americans as well as the Irish.We also don’t have alot to offer.And I wouldn’t want to be a part of the country with that racist prick Ed Anger(No offense to other Americans I know your not all like that).

    One last thing.I’m sorry for making this so long.

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