NEW YORK – Doctors are transplanting fecal matter from one patient to another – and saving lives!
Doctors in New York of have made a major medical breakthrough! Bronx doctors have been doing a procedure known as “probiotic infusion” over the last few months to battle digestive infections. Not only have the transplants worked for digestive problems, but it has cured many other diseases as well.
“This might be the greatest medical discovery since penicillin,” said Doctor David Charles at New York’s Mount Sinai Hospital. “Transplanting fecal matter seems to be able to cure many diseases – including migraines and high blood pressure.”
Dr. Charles, a gastroenterologist, is leading the charge for a national Fecal Transplant Awareness program. Michelle Obama is already backing his efforts and has volunteered to get a fecal transplant herself.
There has been some in the industry that are not backing the procedure. “There’s be a considerable amount of push-back against fecal transplants,” said Charles. “But we’re hoping to convince those that are having trouble taking it all in, will come to the Bronx, get their hands dirty and find out more about what we are doing.”
The procedure is similar to a veterinary procedure once used in the care of cows and horses with digestive problems, the technique was first used on humans in 1958. Dr. Brandt has been using it since 1999 to treat a serious, life-threatening and costly illness known as Clostridium difficile infection.
“Basically, we take the poop from one person and put it in another person. Passing the Poop is what we call it around the office,” said Charles.
Hospitals are dumping their plans for other therapies and jumping on board the fecal transplant band wagon. “It’s going to lighten our patient load considerably,” said Melanie Broadmoor, an administrator with St. Vincent’s Hospital in New York. “If we can get some fresh fecal matter into our sick patients, we can get them out of the hospital sooner.”
How do you know if the fecal matter of one patient is compatible to the fecal matter of another?
“I just eyeball it,” said Charles. “After you’ve looked at as much fecal matter as I have in my career, you really get a sense of whose fecal matter will be appropriate for a particular patient. Some patients are full of fecal matter and others are not.”
Doctors are predicting a fecal revolution. Oprah is planning on having the first live fecal matter transplant next month. And each of her audience members will get a little piece of Oprah when they leave.
Another medical miracle….
4 thoughts on “POOP TRANSLPANTS SAVE LIVES”
Thanks to this modern medicine miracle, suddenly politicians are worth something. Next time you vote, listen carefully what kind of… poop… they are full of.
I think the author is full of sh_t!
I just completed a "probiotic expulsion" – will my insurance cover that?
Can I be a donor?