PANAMA CITY, FL – Tiger Woods finalized his divorce , then bought this $30 million dollar bikini.  Who’s the lucky girl?
Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren officially divorced yesterday in Panama City, Fla., nine months after his middle-of-the night car crash and the subsequent revelations of his numerous infidelities. “We are sad that our marriage is over, and we wish each other the very best for the future,’’ Woods and Nordegren said in a joint statement released by their lawyers.
WWN learned that Tiger Woods then went to a private jewelry dealer in Jupiter Island and purchased this $30 million Susan Rosen designed bikini. Susan Rosen used to be one of the best-kept secrets amongst New York fashion editors, Hollywood Stylists and PGA Golfers.  But the designer rocketed to fame as the designer of history’s most expensive piece of clothing ever made – this $30 million diamond bikini  (modeled by Molly Sims in Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit issue).
Fashioned out of 150 carats of flawless white diamonds set in platinum, Rosen’s bikini design made media waves from Singapore to Russia. Included in this group of diamonds are a 51 carat pear-shaped diamond, a 30 carat emerald cut, a pair of 15 carat round cut and a pair of eight carat pear-shaped diamonds. The stones were set in platinum.

Tiger Woods wasted no time in purchasing the bikini. The only question is:  which one of the over two dozen mistresses did Tiger purchase the bikini for? There was some speculation that he was buying it for Elin Nordegren in an effort to immediately win her back, but Tiger Woods’ lawyer, David de Andrade, said that Woods and Nordegren were moving on with their lives.  “They just want to do what’s best for the children from now on,” said de Andrade.

If not Elin, then who did Tiger buy it for? Gloria Allred, the attorney for most of the mistresses, said she knew who the lucky girl was but she wasn’t saying – unless WWN paid her high six figures. She only would confirm that she, personally, was not the recipient.  After a relentless pestering by WWN’s indefatigable Frank Lake, Allred finally said. “Leave me alone, Frank. I’m getting a root canal!”  Frank Lake grabbed the dentist drill and Allred finally gave up some information, “It’s one of three mistresses.”
SO, which of Tiger Woods’ top three will be the proud owner of a$30 Million Bikini?
!) RACHEL UCHITEL: the original Tiger Woods’ mistress. She is a 35-year-old woman with a history of dating celebrities.

Rachel Uchitel

2) JAIMEE GRUBBS:  A cocktail waitress from Las Vegas. She  is the woman who released text messages and voicemails from Tiger Woods, and she also appeared on Tool Academy on VHI.

Jamie Grubbs

3) JOSYLN JAMES: A porn star who also goes by the name of Veronica Siwik-Daniels, she bragged about having an affair with Tiger on her Facebook page.

Josyln James

There is some speculation that Tiger may have bought the bikini for Molly Sims. She had been dating Aaron Eckhart, but she’s single now.  And the bikini already fits.  So, If the bikini fits…

Molly Sims

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    • Tiger woods will now get chicks like this—he has been doing serious work with PhD ape
      This is the best thing to happen to the PGA since woods came on tour, elen woods is now divorced!

  1. My guess is Molly Sims .. he already had girl number 1, girl number 2 ruined his life just for some publicity, and girl number 3 .. well there's no proof there
    we need bat boy to investigate .. after all he was the one who found Obamas birth certificate

  2. I still believe that the greatest glory in life, is not in never fallen but in rising each time someone fall, situation is as bad as one's mind chooses to distress it. Tiger wood will surely bounce back in great style

    • Bounces back? He didn't fall, when you are sleeping with 17 porn stars, have a reputation as a sexual tyranosaurus, are the number one golfer in the world, and then buy a 30million dollar bra you aren't bouncing back. Tiger woods just launched himself into another universe wi this one
      This guys life movie will be one he'll of a show

    • Tiger woods didn't spend enough with the 750 million divorce? He needs to keep his wallet and something else in his pants
      Rachel uchitel shouldn't be wearing a bra anyways

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  4. I dropped my brain! You have never seen a website like this! The new Facebook. Free to use, search by hobbies, music, movies. Lots of singles, parties, sweepstakes. What are you waiting for? All free! Click my name and enjoy !

    • Don't try and draw focus away from Tiger Woods and his mistresses. This is much more important than some free facebook account, hobies or music. If I saw this 30 million dollar bikini on Jupiter Island I would think that broadway joe must have been behind it. Leave it to weekly world news to break the big stories!

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