St. Peter, who is also known as the first Pope, was distracted as he was watching the latest St. Peter’s University NCAA basketball game. His job of course is to guard the Pearly Gates. “While he was on his phone watching the game, I saw evil cult leader Charles Manson walk right into heaven,” said one Angel that wouldn’t give his name to this reporter. Rumor has it that St. Peter was disgracefully betting against the school that bears his name.
He has lost three big bets in a row and now owes reputed Mafia Boss Al Capone over $250,000. People in heaven were wondering why he bet with Capone since he has unlimited credit with DraftKings. “I guess he didn’t want the word to get out on the street that he didn’t believe in the small school from Jersey City, NJ” added Mother Theresa.
St. Peter’s Twitter account has been frozen after he was trash talking and making predictions – all of which are strictly prohibited by an ordained saint. One tweet that the Weekly World News captured right before tip-off on Friday read: “The St. Peter’s Peacocks don’t have a chance in hell of beating Purdue!”
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