Yes, all rumors have been confirmed!
Weekly World News has the exclusive! The NY Mets star pitcher Jacob deGrom is an alien. “He throws 120 MPH in the bullpen, he tones it down during the game to hide the fact that he’s from another planet.”, said Dave Racaniello, the Mets long-time bullpen catcher.
“Look, I’ve caught tons of MLB pitchers, and many of them are quirky, especially on game day, but Jake does some weird things every 5th day.”
When pressed for more examples by this reporter he went on, “Well, first of all, we never see him walk in or leave the ballpark. Most players drive or take car service, Jake just ‘appears’ at the stadium.”
Racaniello went on to say that deGrom rarely flies on the charter plane. He only does it once in a while to hang out with the players. Everyone loves him as a teammate and it’s pretty much general knowledge that’s he’s ‘otherworldly’.
After speaking to Dr. John Malley, an expert from the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials, Weekly World News learned the good news: deGrom is a Zeeban. “I know Mets fans are worried (and a bit frightened) that DeGrom could be a Gootan, but he is not. We carefully examined the DNA on some of his baseballs and conclusively determined that he is a Zeeban. It makes sense because Zeebans often play interstellar games with balls.”
deGrom won the Cy Young Award for the league’s best pitcher in 2018 and 2019. He held back a little in 2020 as he was getting paranoid that people would find out about his alien status, and he didn’t win the award. At first, it seemed like a good strategy, but he was disappointed and said it will never happen again. As of this date, there are no MLB rules against aliens playing on teams.
Aliens In The News
There has been more and more talk of aliens lately, and of course, the rumors about Hall of Famers Nolan Ryan and Randy Johnson being from another planet have been circulating for years. The Angel’s Mike Trout has admitted he’s an alien many times, but the press just laughs it off because he’s such a joker.
Jacob deGrom’s agent, who’s also an attorney, signed a sworn affidavit saying explicitly that he is NOT from another planet. So maybe he’s one of these newer aliens that have been coming from under the sea? He does thrive in the rain. In the last 7 years, deGrom has never given up a hit while it’s raining.