…and it’s still boring as hell in 2026 !I’m so damn happy that those overhyped 2026 World Cup soccer matches are finally wrapping up I could kiss a pig on the mouth! The only sport more boring than soccer is still tiddlywinks — and at least in tiddlywinks you’ve got a chance to score, for … READ MORE
To the pinheads everywhere, shut your trap! To the rest of you, write me at editor@weeklyworldnews.com. WARM-UPS! Dear Dotti, My kid is on a travel baseball team and now I spend all my time in parking lots waiting for games to start. Between the uniforms, fees, equipment and hotels, I’m going broke AND driving three … READ MORE
Born in Oklahoma City, Bill Hoyland grew up with a transistor radio in one hand and a restless pen in the other. From an early age, he absorbed a kaleidoscope of musical voices—ranging from the twang of Willie Nelson to the soul-deep storytelling of Nelson Williams, from the poetic gravitas of Leonard Cohen to the … READ MORE
Lost? Hopeless? Need a hug? Then call someone who cares. The rest of you, try me at editor@weeklyworldnews.com and I’ll answer if I feel like it. HOUND FROM HELL Dear Dotti, I adopted a hound from hell from a shelter minutes before they were going to send him back to Satan! Can you believe it? … READ MORE
Dear Readers, Sometimes the spooky world of the web lands a letter in my lap. Thanks to everyone who forwarded me this mess of a romance: ASTRAL PROJECTION AFFAIR WITH VAMPIRE DAMPENS DREAMS OK, so I had this conversation with my boyfriend of two years today. We plan on moving in together in the next … READ MORE
Hey readers, if you think I’ll care about YOUR problems, then try me at editor@weeklyworldnews.com And if a squatter is messing with you, read on… BANSHEES! Dear Dotti, My daughter has a high-pitched scream that she unleashes in public places, such as restaurants and libraries. After taking her to pediatricians and behavioral therapists with no … READ MORE
Let’s see who’s the reason we can’t have nice things this week… THE 90’s NEVER DIE, WHATEVER Dear Dotti, I’m sure reality split circa 1994 so I refuse to engage post Reality Bites. My friends thought this was fire until I made them stop saying fire and now, they say I’m mid. How do I … READ MORE
In an unexpected move, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has reportedly approached late-90s rock legends Smash Mouth to compose a fresh version of the national anthem, hoping to infuse it with what officials are calling “unstoppable stadium energy.” A Bold Move for a Bold Nation Saudi cultural representatives stated that the kingdom is looking to … READ MORE
Hello, all you put-upons and sit-upons, time for another public correction. editor@weeklyworldnews.com for your inquiries, if you dare. MY FRIENDS HATE MY BOYFRIEND JUST BECAUSE HE’S DAMNED! Dear Dotti, My friends are being SO weird about my new guy. He’s really tall. His looks are fire and he has the deepest voice I’ve ever heard. … READ MORE
GIMME BACK MY GRUMPY MAILMAN OR HAND ME MY 12-GAUGE! I’m so fired up I just chewed through a tin can and spit out a harmonica solo! The United States Postal Service – you know, the outfit that’s been losing money since the Pony Express filed for bankruptcy. Now they want to deliver your birthday … READ MORE