Except for actual viruses, of course For years now, people have been using the phrase “going viral.” You’ve heard it everywhere. Maybe your friend at work told you that a cat video was going viral. Maybe your son told you that a meme of a basketball player falling was going viral. Maybe you even noticed … READ MORE
“Everyone’s Doing It,” Says Famed Genius Albert Einstein, the Nobel laureate and world-renowned scientist who died in 1955, is back, and he has a new project—a podcast. “I thought that the time was right,” said Einstein. The show, called “E=MiC Squared,” debuted last week. After an opening monologue by Einstein himself — this one handled … READ MORE
AND THEY HAVE CORONAVIRUS ADVICE The world is in the grips of coronavirus fever. Every day brings updated numbers of those infected and breathless stories about clusters where the virus seems to be spreading. It’s affecting schools, malls, even markets. The result is a global citizenry that doesn’t know where to turn, or how to … READ MORE
CITES “MANUFACTURING DEFECTS” God is adding 5.2 million humans worldwide to a major recall to fix manufacturing defects that lead to emotional and spiritual malfunction and the failure of empathy. A spokesangel for the Almighty, Jehudiel, said this week that the additional beings bring the total number of humans recalled in history to more than 22 million. … READ MORE
THE SHEER-LUCK MILLIONAIRE Marcus Fuller didn’t grow up poor. He was a middle-class kid in Kansas City whose father was a dentist and whose mother taught school. But he never imagined he’d be one of the 100 richest people in the United States. And he certainly didn’t know that it would be as a result … READ MORE
SILVER LINING FOR HARD-LUCK INVENTOR OF EXTEND-A-HAND Up until this year, Martin Mopton was, by his own admission, “the world’s worst inventor.” His (insert sarcasm here) brilliant ideas included a talking toilet, sunglasses with mirrors on the insides of the lenses, broccoli-flavored cauliflower, and something called “Scented Window.” Over the years, Mopton estimates that he … READ MORE
Offisaurus already most popular on force! A small California city has been among the most progressive in the country when it comes to policing. Spot’s Hook, in the far northern part of the state, was the first city in the country to experiment with community-based pay, maglev police cars, and on-the-job hypnosis. Now the city … READ MORE
ARE WING VOTERS SWING VOTERS? Bats are not allowed to vote. Yet. But if Bat Boy gets his way, we may soon see a change in the nation’s election policies. Campaigning in South Carolina this week in advance of the state’s upcoming primary, Bat Boy announced his desire to explore expanding the vote to include … READ MORE
WHAT TIME IS IT, AND WILL YOU MARRY ME? Franklin Jennings was unlucky in love: increasingly unlucky. His first marriage, to his college girlfriend, ended after eight years. His second, to his divorce attorney, lasted five. And his third, to his high-school sweetheart—who he reconnected with at a reunion—was over in under a year. “You … READ MORE
Exciting Action and a Few Surprises! This past weekend saw traditional powerhouses consolidating their gains, as the Runtern Arrows downed the Mecklenburg Silhouettes 4 (O) – 4 (P) and the Stone Hill Stoners took care of the Salt Peak Sultans 10 (A) – 5 (A). Only the match between the Kendall Kings and the Dillard … READ MORE