WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama reportedly said The U.S. Constitution is out-of-date, so he is ripping it up and writing a new one.
President Barack Obama reportedly told reporters last night that the U.S. Constitution has become a hindrance to progress in America. “The document is so out-dated, that it is now becoming a hindrance to governing the country.”
Obama has signed an Executive Order voiding the U.S. Constitution. “We need to move forward. We need change.”
Obama reportedly said he has already drafted a new constitution and that Americans “will love what I came up with.” Insiders say Obama is keeping a lot of old elements from the original constitution “he’s just making it better, bringing it into the 21st century,” said White House Spokesman, Jay Carney.
Many Democrats said that President Obama was a constitutional scholar and probably the only President – since the Founding Fathers – who is qualified to change the Constitution.
“President Obama knows more about the Constitution than any man who has ever lived,” said Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi. “It’s about time we change that document and we are lucky to have President Obama to do it.”
Republicans, of course, were outraged that Obama would even consider changing the constitution, and they vowed to fight. “We will fight this to the bitter end,” said Speaker of the House, John Boehner, “there’s no way we are going to let the Constitution of the United States be altered even a little bit. If there are changes to be made to the Constitution it should be done the appropriate way – through amendments and we think Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor are the ones to make any changes.”
Insiders say the new Constitution will look a lot like the constitutions of Kenya, France and Soviet Russia.
There are many, many changes in the New U.S. Constitution, but here are a few of the highlights.
1) SUPREME COURT – Will now have 11 members, which reflects the growing U.S. population. President Obama will appoint two new members immediately. The President can name a new justice without the approval of Congress.
2) EXECUTIVE FINANCIAL POWER – The President will have the power to unilaterally enact any financial policy he chooses, without approval of Congress. He must inform them, but they can not “stop” the President from promoting his (or her) agenda.
3) LOBBYISTS – They will now be outlawed. There will be no more lobbyists in Washington. However, there are some exemptions outlined in the New Constitution” : Trial Lawyers, National Education Association and unions. They will all be able to lobby.
4) REPRESENTATION – California, New York and Illinois will double the number of representatives in Congress – permanently. “The President feels that the smartest people in the country live in these states, so they should be over-represented,” said a White House spokesperson.
5) GUNS & RELIGION – Both will be banned in the United States.
This is a hoax although nothing would surprise me with what this president might try. Taking away the guns from private citizens just might get him bumped off as there are many gun lover’s who would rather go to jail than give up their guns. We see now how dictators gain power through the ignorance of the electorate.
Also the constitution can't be changed at the whim of the president.
there is only one way you will get my guns…. when i run out of ammo!
If you believe this you've already run out of something and it's not ammo. Do you have even the faintest idea what SATIRE is? Or are you so preoccupied with guns as surrogate male organs that you get a reaction to ANY story, no matter how far-fetched???
the Word of God is true…Jesus is coming soon…People be ready..hard time are coming…
Jesus must have taken a wrong turn at Saturn because He has been delayed now for nearly 19 Centuries, Remember, His disciples believed that His return would come to pass in their lifetime. Don't get too excited, I am sure when December 21, 2012 passes without incident all the Second Coming fans will withdraw to come up with a new timetable.
I want the eo numbe, so i can read it myself. Not util then will i respond to this,
Yea ! He was prophecied ,for he is the false prophet, he will be assasinated , shot in the head but will not die ! The mark of thw best will b mandortory 2013 ¡ Dec may_b the antichrist will come in the clouds and oboma will make jim ruler of the world ! wont the truth ?
You are not a good Bible Scholar and your general conclusions about
when these important things will happen are very reckless. Sure Bible prophesy
will be fulfilled but only He knows when and how. His ways are not your ways
so be a bit more humble, keep preparing yourself but don't get so specific.
You are not a prophet and neither are the people you have been reading.
Fred
I'm ashamed to be named American if you call yourselves Americans who believe this malarky… How old are you that you believe this smut? It's pure entertainment, it's Weekly World News… We are doomed if people can't think and don't know their country's origins and systems…
I thought my husband and I were the last ones left. Where are you hiding out? Are there other sane people with you? Can we come hide with you?
The right-wingnuts are like dogs that go crazy at the smell of anything resembling raw meat. Nothing rational happens, they just attack without thinking.
Yes – we'll join you in setting up a colony of reason amongst the loons.
Secede from the Union!! go to whitehouse.gov sign up then go to we the people and find your state all states are now signing the petition except Vermont and New Hampshire. Obama should be impeached for crimes against humanity. He destroyed the east coast with a manmade hurricane, then stole the election, and then is fighting the military which is trying to overthrow him for murdering Stephens in Benghazi. He ordered a drone attack on a military installation in Indianapolis, and the drone sent two hellfire missle into an Indianapolis neighborhood. That's Obama's idea of 'change' and moving forward.
True
rofl
Sorry, that is rude of me to do, but you truly have a weak link on reality if you think that mankind has the ability to create and aim hurricanes at anyone. As to your military overthrowing the President. Another daydream.
May God watch over you and may Jesus guide you to follow His path to truth.
Bless you.
You are truly unbalanced and need to seek medical help. Your delusions are going to cause you to harm someone someday.
"Manmade hurricane." Wow. Just ….wow.
Too many drugs?
What did I tell you about taking you meds regularly
everybody saying that she or he is crazy for the statement..but you all are crazy for not even looking it up to see if it is even possible and it is…you need to look up h.a.a.r.p., it is possible..if they clone a sheep they can mess with the weather…We have been so conditioned to believe whatever the "government" says that we don't question it we just take it with no vaseline or sense for that matter…this is not the only article written that proves that obama is trying to rewrite the constitution. Also you have to ask yourself this question have we been so blinded by bs like the playoffs, celebrities, and scandals that the real news we just brush it off….Our lives are at stake here and billions of people don't even realize…Our so called civil liberties are taken away little by little and no one paying attention to it…we are wrapped up in false RELIGION that we can't even grasp the concept of how big this lie is and how on a very very large scale that we have been bamboozled…To the so called african americans, peurto ricans and those ancestors are slaves you need to really do some research on who you are… people of the book (hebrews)…
Don't dismiss people as crazy, you can't judge something you are not willing to look into
What is this, the National Enquirer. This is bullshit. If this were true, it would be headline news all over the MSM and real news media. They wouldn't be talking about anything but this.
Oh what part of moving FORWARD did anyone voting for Obama didn't understand? Why is it so easily seen by conservatives but yet liberals are so blind? We are singing, are you listening yet?????? Why do you think we are all so pissed???????
It's satire.
That's true, and I dont think that Obama would get away with changing anything. Even the liberal of the liberal wouldnt stand for the dissolution of everything he has lived his life on. I don't think it's necessarily happening right now, but I dont put it passed Obama's agenda. When I got to the part where there were no more guns or religion i knew it was a farce, but mostly and only because the government knows there would be a full, country-wide riot, and they would lose.
You got it, Oz! It's called right-wing hysteria.
I do realize what kind of news source this is, however, nothing would shock me anymore.
People America is the Daughter of Babylon. People will be in fema camps soon. America will be destroyed by Iran according to the bible. America will be destroyed before Christ comes back. Your pastors are payed pimps from the government.
I've read the Bible twice. cover to cover, and have yet to find the word 'America' in it…
The DNA Israelites (descendants of Jacob) are highly concentrated in Europe and America (numbering as the stars of the sky and sand of the sea – and no, I am no talking about imposters that make up 5% of the world's population).
You are very correct – with the exception of Iran overthrowing the US – that's just flat ridiculous. The destruction of this country has been done at the hands of the JOOS that run the world BABYLONIAN BANKING SYSTEM . People could not control themselves and their coveting for "crap" they had no money to buy (CREDIT) is the tool that was used to bring it all down.
What makes you think America will be destroyed before he comes back? you or no one else on this planet knows when he is coming, its for him and him alone to know. But i believe he wont let this man destroy us before he rescuses us. God bless
Its not posted on news bekuz who the hek are you for them to inform thats mainstream news they put so much b.s on there its like high school drama jus to keep ppl l that dont understand like alot of folx in this kommenting dumbed down, in what i have researched i believe this post is true,
Executive Order Number ????? Can you find it?
Wake up. It's a satire site. Do you really think Megan Fox is a guy, or that Bat Boy is a celebrity???
first off i saw i a good point anyone seen this on the news i havent so its not true if this were to happen it would be the hottest thing right now right now it all about suceding from the union which that wont happen either whats going to happen if this crap keeps up is civil war all over again except this time they have all the dominoes lined up and all hes gota do is push it over the government works like this if you put a frog in boiling water he will jump out immediately but if you put him in cold water and slowly turn up the heat he will stay and boil to death that is us as americans they are slowly turning up the heat til something big happens and slot of people are going to get hurt
Ray, your spelling and punctuation (or lack of both) simply confirms the stereotype of conservatives being uneducated rubes who react rather than think. Please do us two favors: go back to school, and don't reproduce. Thanks.
Relax my friend…. I acted that way until I had two strokes…. Read Article V what it take to change it. Thank you Forefathers they didn't trust them 200 Plus years ago before they got slimmey and hid under rocks
OMG YOU PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID! THERE'S NOT ENOUGH CAPITAL LETTERS TO TELL YOU HOW DUMB YOU'D HAVE TO BE TO BELIEVE THIS NONSENSE!
I would like your sourse and the executive number
You people that discredit this. Probably only believe what you see on CNN. If that’s the case. Just continue to sit on your couch and watch. The U.S is being dismantled and ITS NOT being talked about openly. Stuff like this is kept quiet for a reason. Now Obama did however state in a recent press conference. ” the constitution is outdated and needs updated to allow better governing of this country.
When people seek to dismantle. Corrupt or pervert the constitution its our right and duty as Americans to seek a resolution. Suceding from the government is doing so as a peacful resolution. Do not over throw the constitution but over throw the tyrants who want to pervert the constitution. If our founding fathers were alive today. They’d be sitting on the steps of washington with guns and torches.
You twit, it's SATIRE. Get over your prejudices and have a good laugh.
It's SATIRE, people. It's not real. Maybe you all should go read the one about How to Sell Your Soul To the Devil for fun & profit. Good grief.
Hahahaha! Excellent! And I think we should have pancake Fridays as well. Everyone must eat pancakes.
Satire, folks.
I prophesied in 2001 he would be elected as president, and he was. I also prophesied he would get a second term, and now he's in power again. My word also had a third part, that he would be assassinated in office, so we shall see what happens
Sounds good to me. We've trashed the old one for the last eleven years.
You Guys are not funnyyour perverted sense of humor is not appreciated by any one who can count past twenty with out having to remove an article of clothing, or whos IQ is above room temperature Don't you ahole know that the CIA, FBI DNC and The Secret service collect all kinds of data for our would be Emporer to use to gain amnd maintain absolute control over the US population . ANd That ain't no joke. If your gonna make fun out of the Frulent bastard doit with panach gusto and savior fair. Not sophomorific hypebole
Lahk a typikul Cornfederate, y'all cain't spell to save yer sole. Them thar littel red lions undah haff ah yer werds means they is misteaks!
Or you could go back to school, or maybe invest in a dictionary. Otherwise you're (NOT "your") simply confirming the right-wing stereotype.
What about having a pizza first? He drives more carefully than you.It’s a friendly competition.In spite of the heavy rain, she went to the shop.We all desire happiness.He is crazy about Crazy EnglishThere are many stars in the sky.How did Mary make all of her money?Believe it or not!Would you care to see it sit down for a while?
Please, please, before you comment here that Obama is the Antichrist who will only get your guns from your cold, dead hands, consider that the "news" part of Weekly World News is a joke. This is a satire website and if you are getting your "news" here, you really should lock the doors, readjust your tinfoil hat, and hunker down to wait for Bat Boy to rescue you. A couple of hints: Kim Kardashian's butt did not explode, Megan Fox is not a man with a reptilian tail, and the world did not end last month. Now that contraception is included with your insurance policy, kindly consider employing multiple methods.
He usually drops in at my place on his way home.I meet the boss himself.I’m very proud of you.Betty and Susan are talking on the telephone.I’m your lucky fellow then.It is tomorrow that they will have a meeting.It is tomorrow that they will have a meeting.What’s wrong with you? I went there three days ago.She likes Mike a lot, but she doesn’t want to get married so early.