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PhD APE TO COUNSEL SCAM VICTIMS


PALM BEACH, FL – In a move surprising many of his fans and clients, PhD Ape is traveling to Florida in light of the Madoff investment scam – to meet with the victims!

It is no secret that PhD Ape has been good friends with investment consultant, Bernard Madoff for many years.  Allegations that PhD Ape was involved in the scam in some way are unsubstantiated and not supported by existing facts.

“It’s the spirit of the holiday season to reach out to those in need,” PhD Ape said.  “What happened to these rich old folks is a travesty.  They took their millions of dollars and trusted Madoff to invest it and make them billions.  And now they wake up to see they’re no richer than the folks who clean the pool and shuffle board table.”

“It’s a real Mitzvah what that ape is doing for us,” Palm Beach Country Club member Albert Weissberg told reporters.  “We’re in the middle of quite a pickle down here.  It’s hard to know who to trust, and out of nowhere, this guy comes down to listen to us and just make us feel like someone cares.”

“I don’t know if apes practice Judaism or not, but PhD Ape is a tsadek if I’ve every seen one,” Weissberg said emotionally.  “Oy gut, just look at me.  I’m all vaclemped just thinking about it!”