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CHAOS CLOUD SETTLES IN FLORIDA


JACKSONVILLE, FL – It looks like the Chaos Cloud has picked its final destination before the elections begin: Florida!

After visiting Ohio, Indiana and Pennsylvania, the Cloud seems to have settled over Jacksonville’s Municipal Stadium, where it has been hovering since late Sunday night.

It is believed that the Chaos Cloud is warning government officials to not repeat the problems that were made during the infamous 2000 presidential election. This fits in with the Cayan prophecy that the Cloud is waiting to bring ultimate chaos and the end of the world in 2014.

Florida State University professor Dr. Adam Gamal explained, “The Cayans were a pre-Columbian Central American tribe renowned for their astronomy and mathematics. They worshipped a god-king mathematician who spent thirty years solving their greatest calculation: when the world would end.

“Their calendar ends in 2014, when an evil mist will descend and consume our world. I believe the Chaos Cloud is trying to limit any chaotic events until his time has come. Basically, he’s a bit of a prima donna.”

Florida officials are promising citizens that the balloting process will go as smoothly as possible. It appears that the Chaos Cloud will be insuring that.