BENTONVILLE, Ark., — A Wal-Mart executive insists the company paid off several Supreme Court Justices.
The whistle-blowing comes mere hours after the nation’s highest court threw out a massive discrimination suit against Wal-Mart Stores. The suit was the largest employment discrimination in U.S. history with claims from 1.5 million women that they had been discriminated against in both pay and promotions.

In a series of secret hotel room interviews, the fifty-four year-old turncoat, wearing a wig and moustache, detailed the specifics of cash-drops and hand-offs in several posh Washington apartment buildings.
Using a microphone and voice-distortion software, he explained. “I don’t want to call it protection money because Wal-Mart is not in the business of killing people or hurting people, unless, of course, you count all the processed food we sell. Five Justices received cautionary letters, and followed by a delivery of cash. It was clear. It was understood. As long as the Justices throw out the suit, they don’t have to worry.”
When pressed to list the names of Justices who received money from Wal-Mart, the informer would only reveal the project acronym: SKRAT.
“The Wal-Mart people are no joke. During one late-night session about the case, someone even put up one of our old signs and crossed out ‘Prices.’ It said ‘Beware of Falling Justices.’ I was scared for my life,” he continued.
Much to his chagrin, the tipster is still employed by Wal-Mart. He promises to divulge the full story and publish his notes and journal as soon as his kids are out of college. “I’ve got two kids in college, my hands are tied. I have to keep working for these Wal-Mart pigs. Not to mention, I can’t afford to shop anywhere else. I just wanted to do the right thing. I had to tell someone.”

Supporters of women’s rights have been protesting Wal-Mart stores for months. Jessica Spearhead, an organizer for AllianceforJustice.org, spoke for the growing crowd outside of the Supreme Court, “We knew Wal-Mart was this sleazy, but we didn’t realize the Supreme Court was just as shady.”
Agents for film director Kathryn Bigelow have been reaching out to the informant to secure movie rights for his story.


  1. I feel like I’m constantly looking for interesting things to read about a variety of topics, but I manage to include your site among my reads every day because you have interesting entries that I look forward to. Here’s hoping there’s a lot more amazing material coming!

  2. Heya this is kind of of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I'm starting a blog soon but have no coding know-how so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated!

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.