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WASHINGTON D.C. – The ghost of Mary Jo Kopechne is at it again! And she’s really leaving her mark!

With Senator Ted Kennedy at the brink of death, friends of the senator have been revealing that Kennedy and those close to him have been falling victim to the famed “Kennedy Curse”.

Suspicions  began a few weeks ago when Ted himself began seeing visions of Mary Jo Kopechne, the woman involved in the controversial accident on Martha’s Vinyard over 40 years ago.

“He was even paler than he usually is, it was remarkable,” says one aide.

For years, rumors have been swirling that the Kennedy family is hexed as  a result of a drunken Ted Kennedy and his fateful night with Kopechne. The tragic deaths of JFK, JFK Jr. and Robert Kennedy have all been blamed by the curse and with Eunice’s death this week and with Ted at death’s door, it looks like Kopechne is back for one last hurrah.

“We’ve placed sage and incense around his bed and have an exorcist on call around the clock,” says his nurse. “We hope it can ward off Mary Jo’s spirit.”

But one source close to Kennedy is not afraid as much as she is annoyed, “She died in water and now she leaves wet footprints all over the floor! Spooking the man who drove her to her death is understandable, but I have to clean up the puddles, and I’m not happy about it!”

How can YOU avoid being cursed? Follow these steps:

  • Figure out which side of  the family is cursed. Let’s just hope it’s orgin isn’t you.
  • Trace the curse as far back as you can. This may take a few trips to town hall or, if you need to do extensive research, a geneologist.
  • Identify the individual who placed the curse. “It could have been a barefoot hag who was burned at the stake hundreds of years ago. It’s important to know where the hex is coming from
  • Learn the wording of the curse. Once you find out exactly what the curse was, it’ll be easier to find the “escape clause”.
  • Place a counter-curse. This would in volved getting a whichcraft-practitioner to help you lift the curse. Beware of making bargins with any black market whichs, you don’t want to promise away your first born!