LOS ANGELES, CA – Fox aired the So You Think You Can Dance finale last night. Afterwords Mary Murphy was revealed to be a foreign spy.
Mary Murphy has been a judge on So You Think You Dance for several seasons. It came to light last night that she has been using this position to recruit operatives to be used as pawns in global espionage.
Authorities were tipped off when the bodies of two of season 3 runners up were found dead at a cafe in Prague. Each had half a dozen passports with fake identities, but one of the constables on the scene was a fan of the show and recognized them immediately. They had been killed by poisoned lattes, a trademark hit of Turkish arms dealers.
It is believed that Mary Murphy has been recruiting runners up for the show for use in an international network of spies. They are excellent targets for recruitment as they are young, attractive, in shape, addicted to rush of performance, and within six months almost no one will remember them. Murphy’s manic disposition on the show has been a clever ruse to keep people off of her trail. The phrase ‘Hot Tamale Train’ is believed to be code to her cohorts that the subject is a prime target for recruitment.
Since the investigation started 8 other former contestants have been found living under assumed names throughout the world. Some have used their impressive ballroom skills to seduce the European aristocracy. Others were left for dead in back alleys throughout the former Soviet block.
Government agents attempted to take Murphy in to custody after the taping last night. Murphy eluded capture in a high speed chase on her black motorcycle. There has been no trace of her in California since, although photographs of a woman screaming hysterically to get a waiters attention this morning have led the CIA to believe she may be in Budapest.
Season 6 of So You Think You Can Dance will begin filming in several weeks.