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Adam Lambert shocked America with his performance at the AMAs.  Christian groups are demanding the FCC take serious action.

Sunday’s annual American Music Awards was thrown into a panic with their headlining final performance.  Adam Lambert performed his new single with overtly sexual overtones.  Unfortunately for Adam and for America, the overtones were homosexual.  The public is now in a panic.

Since Sunday ABC has been flooded with complaints from concerned parents and church groups.  Over 162,000 calls, emails and letters have been sent to the studio in less than a week.  All of them complaining about the inappropriate sexual content of the performance.

Lambert himself insists that his performance was no more sexually provocative than any other number of shows.  ABC tried to rationalize the incident in a statement saying “We have aired thousands of hours of people kissing in the past.”  However, angry protesters across the country have responded by saying “But this was two men!  It’s totally different!”

Lambert has been burned in effigy by conservative church groups all week long.  At evening services homemade likenesses of the singer have been set on fire while preachers give sermons about morality and congregants sing hymns.  Other, more moderate, congregations have settled for a Lambert pinata, filled with glitter and eye-liner.

Dozens of church groups have banded together to petition the Federal Communications Commission.  They have created a list of demands for ABC and the producers of the show.

1.  ABC should apologize for airing such scandalous content.
2.  Adam Lambert should personally apologize for the incident, and for being gay.
3.  ABC should air a special episode of Dr. Phil to help people cope with the psychological trauma of seeing homo-erotic content.
4.  Monday Night Football be given 15 extra minutes next week.
5.  Lambert is allowed to be on TV again, provided he “butch it up a little.”

If they give in to this political pressure, the FCC has the right to force steep fines on the American Broadcasting Company.  There is no word yet on whether ABC will give in to any of the demands.