This week we bring you the most illuminated in our continuing feature on lesser known saints.
For this installment we present:
Patron Saint of Lawn Ornaments
Saint Elijah lived in Lourdes, France, in the early part of the 20th century. Like many brothers in his monastary he learned a trade to help with the day-to-day upkeep.
Every Christmas more and more people would come to the monastary to see brother Elijah’s elaborate displays. The heads of his order condemned the displays as garish and expensive, since electricity was a fairly new commodity at the time. Brother Elijah kneeled down and said a prayer for his Christmas displays. The next day when he checked the meter, the ornaments were running at half the killowat/hours as before. This miracle continued through the rest of the season, and every time Elijah designed the Christmas display.
One stormy night a plane full of sick children was flying into Lourdes to be prayed over, when the power at the air field went out. News quickly spread through the small town, and in a vision Elijah saw what he must do. Gathering every lawn ornament he had, he carried them all to the airfield landing strip. Carfully he plugged them in to a series fo extension chords that ran the 3 miles back to his monastary. Shouting a prayer against the wind Elijah plugged in the last connection, and against all odds the ornaments lit up. Guided in by a series of plastic snowmen and twinkling reindeer the plane was able to find the landing strip. Elijah was regrettably decapitated by the plane’s wing, holding a finicky plug together so the plane could land safely. His severed head continued to give directions on handling the ornaments until they were all safely taken down and put away the way he liked it.
Saint Elijah is now the Patron Saint of electricians, lawn ornaments, and air traffic controllers.
You can pay homage to Saint Olivia, or any of the forgotten saints, by taking up a mop and acquiring the Saint Misbehavin’ guide, lovingly created by NobleWorks.