JETS LOSE – CONTACT PHD APE

NEW YORK, NY – The Jets got a dose of hard knocks last night. Might be time to re-focus and call in a little extra help!
Leading up to the beginning of this NFL season, one would think that it was the NY Jets that were the defending Super Bowl champions – not the New Orleans Saints. They have carried an incredible swagger and bravado with them all offseason. They have stuck their chest out, banged on it and have proclaimed their confidence in winning the Super Bowl this year. The team was also featured on HBO’s Hard Knocks and we saw much of the same – a confidence that almost makes you sick. To each their own…
Well all of that bravado got them nothing more than a loss in their opening game to the Baltimore Ravens. Ray Lewis and the Ravens came into the new Jets stadium and gave the home team a healthy dose of suffocating defense. So much has been said about the Jets defense, but Ray Lewis reminded everyone that the Ravens have always had a tough defense. The Ravens also managed something else – to shatter the Jets pretty little world they had created for themselves. Their egos and bravado got in the way of playing great football – time to call in reinforcements.
PhD Ape is the obvious candidate to come in and whip the team back into shape. Starting the season off with a loss, coupled with harassment claims from Ines Sainz is not the ideal path to a Super Bowl. Fresh off helping Team USA Basketball winning the FIBA World Championships, the master of inspiration has been contacted by Jets owner Woody Johnson.
“I love what my team stands for right now – confidence, swagger and that ‘nobody is better than us’ mentality,” owner Johnson said. “However, I think that the team’s ego has gotten bigger than it should and it’s going to get in the way of playing championship caliber football. I would hope that this loss would help them tuck their tail in between their legs – but the players on the team aren’t that kind of person. With Rex Ryan at the helm, this is just a minor speedbumb if anything. I need PhD Ape to come in and instill a new mentality onto this team.”
Sure PhD has only had exactly one day off, but there’s nothing he loves more than helping people achieve greatness.
“I love the Jets. They’ve got this X factor to them that not many teams can match,” PhD Ape told us. “They just need some minor tweaking, a slight mental adjustment and a small does of humility. They can still carry that incredible bravado with them, but I’ll help them harness that in a positive way. I think they have all gotten lost in the game of ‘who’s got a bigger ego.’ We’ll change that and get them on the path to the Super Bowl. I’m excited for this new opportunity.”