COLUMBIA, SC – Governor Mark Sanford returned to work after disappearing over the weekend.  Photographic evidence proves he was spending time with his Bigfoot lover.
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford sent the country into a panic this week by disappearing completely for several days.  Aides to the Governor said he went hiking on the Appalachian Trail to clear his head after a tough legislative session.  However, evidence confirms that the South Carolina Governor was engaging in an affair with his Sasquatch mistress.
This breaking news explains why it took Sanford’s aides 9 hours to respond to reporter questions about his whereabouts, and why he was clearing his head now over a legislative battle that happened three weeks prior.
Governor Sanford was seen frolicking in the woods with what his clearly his Sasquatch lover.  Eye witnesses saw the two running hand in hand through a field of wildflowers this Father’s Day weekend.  Later they were spotted having a picnic on a hilltop including various cheeses and a bottle of wine.  Whether the Sasquatch is of legal age has yet to be determined.
Witnesses later saw the two watching the sun set, before retiring to a rented cabin.  Records show the cabin was rented to a Mr. Bark Blandford.  Owners of the establishment confirm that they received numerous complaints about noise coming from the cabin all through the night, and that it was left in such a state that the deposit was not returned.  Cleaning crews sent in the next day agreed it was like nothing they had ever seen before.
Investigators wonder if the Governor also chose this weekend to see his mistress as it was Nude Hiking Day.  The Appalachian Trail was filled with nude hikers this weekend, making it easier for someone to overlook a Governor frolicking with his Bigfoot lover.  This plan may have backfired as the Sanford was initially spotted by the North Carolina Naked Birdwatchers Association.
Sanford returns to work today, trying to minimize media fallout from his mysterious disappearance.  Who his Sasquatch lover is, and what effect she will have on his political futures, remains to be seen.

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  1. My hypothesis, considering the current economic collapse on the horizon for the US, is that Gov. Sanford took time to understand and research the economic collapse of Argentina which happened much like the current events in the US.
    "Argentina quickly lost the confidence of investors and the flight of money away from the country increased."

  2. This is not the worst thing in the world the governor could have done. It is was not a very smart move on his part. I hope people can give Mrs. Sanford some time to herself without a lot of questions. It is not a good thing when couples split up with kids involved. I know he made a big mistake and I for one am big enough to forgive my governor for his mistakes. We get nowhere putting him down and making the state look bad. We need to understand that he is just a man who admitted to his wrong doings and is trying to get through some very difficult times for his family and himself. Let's give his family some time to figure out for themselves what they are going to do. I for one say if his wife can forgive him then so can I. I don't agree with what he did. But I do appreciate his coming clean and trying to make a new start for himself and his family. I say let his family deal with the family matters and let the government (Lt. Governor Bauer) deal with this problem. I trust Andre Bauer totally and I know he will do the right thing for the state and our governor.

  3. The Governor should resign. His actions indicate he is not worthy of this office. Our state will be in good hands with Lt. Governor Andre Bauer.

  4. Zippi, You are delusional! He left his post as GOVERNOR without safeguards in place to provide emerency services while he frolicked with his girlfriend in Argentina. NO ONE knew where he was, and apparently he "could not be reached". That is WORSE than an affair, that is derelection of his duty as Governor, and for that he should be removed from office. Oh, and btw, If you have seen his wife's statement to the press, This is not a new affair; she found out 5 months ago and they have been in counselling according to her, attempting to work on their marriage. lol….. suuure, the way to work on a marriage is to leave the country and go spend a week with your girlfriend. He is a two-faced ****. Spouting conservative ideals on the one hand and staunching supporting traditional family values and then rolling around with a trollop in South America.

  5. He's a piece of crap!!!! Who paid for the trip? How many other trips has he taken for this same reason? If he met this "babe" on the internet, did he meet her during work hours on government computers when he was getting PAID??? Just who the hell does this guy think he is. He was elected by the people of South Carolina, as far as I can remember, once you're elected YOU work for the PEOPLE that elected you. Think about it, if he lied to his wife, and kids, cheated on them, betrayed them, what would ever make you think he would be honest to anyone else?

  6. Look how long it took John Edwards to admit he was having an affair–and we still don't know whether he is the father of the baby or if he is still having the affair. At least Governor Sanford told the truth when the facts didn't look good…..

  7. Governor Sanford you are a thief and a hypocrite. People like you are the reason no one believes in the Republican Party anymore. You cannot have one set of standards for yourself and another for everyone else. You stole money from the taxpayers and now want us to forget about it because you paid some of the money back. You left the state with no leadership so you could satisfy your sexual desires and left no contact info so that in the case of an emergency the citizens of SC would have suffered the consequences. Do the right thing and RESIGN!!!


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