WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama will host the first White House seder. Party organizers state, “Why is this night different from any other?  ‘Cause it’s gonna be fierce!”

President Obama will make history yet again tonight as the first President to hold an official White House seder on tonight the second night of Passover.  After a much publicized Easter celebration, plans for this seder were made at the last minute and announced only a few days ago.

The President wishes to reaffirm to Americans and the international community that all faiths will be respected by an Obama White House.

A team of Rabbis, Jewish Scholars, and Project Runway winner Christian Siriano were brought in to design the event.

At the beginning of the service a plate of traditional and symbolic foods will be at the head of the table.  Fresh organic horseradish root will provide the bitter herbs symbolizing the bitterness of slavery, handmade adzuki paste will symbolize the mortar slaves worked with, along with three matzos symbolizing “slaves bread” made by Mario Battali and each costing $400.

To represent the tears of the Jewish slaves, there will be glasses of actual tears collected in Jerusalem from widows watching Yentl.

The Haggedah, the story of the Jewish exodus from slavery, will be read aloud by the President while behind him it is projected on a screen in a CGI animation designed by George Lucas’ Industrial Light and Magic studio and presented in 3-D.  All necessary 3-D glasses have been blessed by a Rabbi and deemed kosher.

As part of the ceremony participants each receive four cups of wine.  Tonight, White House guests will receive Manischewitz Black Label: a triple-distilled triple-blessed top shelf wine made by specially trained Rabbis in the Holy Land.

For added effect, a 4 square foot section of the Wailing Wall has been brought in from Israel.  Guests will pour small amounts of Manischewitz at its base in remembrance of those who have died along the way, while the Washington Men’s choir sings a Hebrew translation of the Bone Thugs ‘n Harmony song Crossroads.

At the request of visiting Israeli dignitaries, during the more festive Passover songs President Obama will show off his famous Pop ‘n Lock skills.

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  1. The President wishes to reaffirm to Americans and the international community that all faiths will be respected by an Obama White House.

    Then, of course, he goes and nominates an anti-Catholic bigot to an advisory council on faith issues.

    So, apparently, this statement is true, inasmuch as your religion will not contradict, question, or oppose the plans of the Obama administration.

  2. From one man God made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth. We are to embrace one another. In the past, God over looked your ignorant statements, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. I suggest all haters heed the warning .

  3. It all seems quite theatrical but effective. In this world we live in now I suppose that is the method to develop change although Jesus was also a user of these methods and look at his results. In the end we all need peace and love and the catalyst for that derives from change in every aspect. So maybe, if we take the blinkers of''' the objective may be achieved…all could be possible as long as Obama is consistent and that would mean a lot of dinners and many interesting menus to consume……

  4. This is the day that Queen Esther made her famous meal for the King and his henchman. There they fell and there their evil cunning plan to put a hand to the Jews flipped to be their end. So it will be with all who plan against His people.

  5. Not only did Jesus Keep The Passover, He is the Passover lamb!
    This is a phenominal marking of the coming together of the followers of Yeshua Messiah (Jesus Christ) and the children of Israel. To the surprise of many, Jesus was a devoted Jew his whole life. It was His custom to keep the Sabbath, but He never allowed it to Keep Him. He follewed the laws and ordinances and in fullfillment of them became the Passover Lamb without blemish and no bones broken on the evening of the preperation for this great day. He rained down his Holy Spirit on Pentecoast, the Feast of Weeks, which fullfilles it. We are still awaiting the fullfillment of the Blowing of the "Trumpets" and Tabernacles were all of humanity will feast in New Jeruselem with Christ the King(Zech 14). Isn't this wonderful. Glory be to the Most High God, Creator of heaven and earth. Shalom

    • Jesus was a devoted Jew !!! Betrayed by the Jews, wasn't he?

      He is the Messiah and King of Jews. But do Jews believe he ie the Messiah when he returns to Earth?

    • NOPE!
      we dnt believe hes the messiah!!!
      and hes gnna return to earth once the REAL messiah will appear

  6. So, will The One fast for Rammadandan?

    Will he rut in the fields with Mrs. The One for pagan May Day?

    Will he take a second wife to please Mormons and Muslims?

    How far does this go?

  7. Number 1: This holiday doesn't celebrate Queen Esther's story (that's the holiday of Purim). It celebrates the Jews leaving egypt.

    Number 2: The passover lamb was not Jesus. Get this: it was an actual lamb! The passover story takes place BEFORE Jesus. The passover lamb is the lamb whose blood was smeared over the doors of the Jewish people, so that the Angel of Death would pass over their homes.

    This article is a spoof on reality, and if you plan on commenting on it, I reccommend knowing your religious history.

  8. Comment to grammarian: You are right about the meaning of the Paschal lamb as related in the Old Testament, but Christians took it further and turned the lamb into Jesus which is why in the Catholic Mass they pray "Lamb of God who taketh away the sins of the world, have mercy on us!" They are referring to Jesus. And in the Latin Mass the only Greek left in it is a reference to "Agnus Dei" (Lamb of God). The imagery of the lamb is also used in depicting Jesus' cousin St. John the Baptist who is often seen with a lamb. Religion experts a lot smarter than both of us could probably tell us a lot more on why there is so much use of this particular animal over others in Judeo-Christian religion. I would love to hear from people of other faiths on the references to lambs or other animals in their religion.

  9. You missed the rest of the Bible passage and therefore the context, friend. God did this so that man would reach out and find him; he will judge the world with Justice through the man he has chosen — and that man is not Barack Obama or Martin Luther King or Ted Kennedy of George Bush — it is Jesus Christ, crucified and risen from the dead, the proof and confirmation that he alone is King and LORD of all. Men who do love, obey and submit to his righteous command to follow the LORD Jesus are condemned already. That is not because they hate each other. Men hate each other because they hate God, because they love themselves, and they love sin. Men like Obama tell men that they can love sin and still have everything. It cannot be. Mankind cannot and will not be ruled by men; the result is the hatred, betrayal, lies and disorder brought about by every evil practice.

    • Men who do love, obey and submit to his righteous command to follow the LORD Jesus are condemned already.
      Wowszers! With the editorial integrity of the White House press office, I left out the one important word in the sentence.

      "Men who do NOT love, obey and submit.."

      Mea culpa. I apologize to all readers here for insulting you by failing to proofread my own pontifications. All blessings to all.


  10. None of us knows if we will be breathing in sixty seconds. Which means we don't know much. Take some time friends, to consider the worth of your soul, and the possibilty you may soon be in eternal hell because your sins have offended the Infinite God of the LORD Jesus Christ.

    Trust in him now. Believe in Him. Turn away from your sins. Allow the stain of his shameful and bloody death to cover you, so that you may safely fall at his feet and be received into eternal glory.

  11. What a yarn is this business about an exodus, enslaved Hebrews, a Red Sea parting and the drowning of the Egyptians. A hoax has been pulled on the world. There is absolutely no historical evidence to support this baloney. This just goes to show Obama's betrayal of his African ancestors, made worse by identifying with a people who have not only a long history of involvement in the African slave trade, but also one of actual dominace. See, for example, the writings of Elizabeth Donnan, Jonathan I. Israel and Richard S. Dunn for starters.


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