SACRAMENTO – Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger met with Chinese leaders today. They want to buy California.
California is going bankrupt and according to Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger there is no turning back. “We tried everything. We have no money. We must come up with creative solutions to save the state,” the Governor told reporters.
California is a complete and total economic disaster area. The state government of California is projected to have a budget deficit of at least 19 billion dollars this year, and next year the budget gap is projected to grow to 37 billion dollars. To put that in perspective, the entire budget for the government of California is only about $125 billion per year. Already, California’s credit rating is the lowest of all 50 states, and going lower.
“It’s over,” said State Senator Warren Pool of San Jose.
How is California going to get the cash it needs to survive?
At the invitation of Governor Schwarzenegger, Chinese leaders flew to Sacramento to work out a deal to purchase California. “The deal is that we will still be part of the United States, but China will take over the state government. They will make all the economic and political decisions within the state, but they will yield to the federal government on national issues.”
“It’s a states rights issue,” said constitutional scholar, Chris Rigaux of Stanford Law School. “California has the right to manage its own finances without the U.S. government getting in the way. The state is bankrupt and if China wants to own a piece – or all – of California and lawmakers want to sell the state to them, that’s constitutionally allowed.”
Several California lawmakers strongly disagreed with the decision. “This is an outrage!”, said Linda Sunstein, a Republican state senator from San Diego. “California will be under the control of the Chinese. We will be a communist state!”
“Look, China already owns a good chunk of the United States, they practically own the whole country,” Governor Schwarzenegger told reporters. “The Chinese seem to know how to run things, get a government in the black.”
Governor Schwarzenegger hopes to complete the deal before the November elections. Republican Meg Whitman is in a battle with Democratic stalwart Jerry Brown. “If we close the deal, like I hope we do, we won’t need to have those elections. The Chinese will just appoint a leader to head the Ministry of California.”
Rumors that Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is receiving a $10 billion cash payment from the Chinese, in exchange for his “brokering” of the deal are completely false. But they may be true.
China already plans on changing the California state emblem from the Bear to the Panda.