KOBE BRYANT GETS GOLD IN OLYMPIC SEX

U.S.A. got another medal last night, when Kobe Bryant was awarded the gold medal by athletes in Olympic Village.

Kobe knew that when he went to London he would be taking home the Olympic Gold for basketball  – the team of NBA all-stars is dominating the competition.  But the medal that Kobe really wanted  (and trained for) was the Olympic Gold awarded to the greatest sex-lete in the Olympic Village.

“He lost out to Michael Phelps in Beijing and that really bothered him,” said a source in the Olympic Village.  “Kobe had a lot of numbers, but Phelps scored much better on technique and overall performance.”

Kobe made his presence known right from the start, walking with some of his supporters among the U.S. Olympic team.

After the opening ceremony, Kobe did an around-the-world tour, “visiting” with athletes from the Netherlands, South Africa, Australia and Thailand.   Kobe got high points from many of the athletes, although he lost his shirt along the way.  TMZ caught Kobe in-between “visits”:

LeBron James made a run for the gold, but he just couldn’t keep up.  Kobe’s stiffest competition was actually Lo Ping, a ping-pong superstar from China.

Ping’s overall score in the Olympic Village was a 9.69, and Kobe just edged him out for the gold with a 9.71.  Ping accused Kobe of using his celebrity as a way to “influence” the judges.  Kobe denied the claim and told Ping to “go back to Pong Kong where you belong.”

There were rumors in Olympic Village that Kobe had a special judge in his corner:

WWN can not confirm or deny those rumors.

The gold medal for sex has been given in the Olympic Village since 1940, but this is the first time it has been publicly announced with a podium ceremony.

Kobe made the USA proud.  The women’s winner will be announced – in private.  Maybe an American sweep?