LOS ANGELES – The judge threw the book at Lindsay Lohan today, sentencing her to life in prison.
Lilo has violated her probation and been an overall “pain-in-the-ass” to prosecutors and judges in Los Angeles County.  Today, Judge Susan Begley literally stood up and threw a book containing all the Lohan trial transcripts – right at the star.  Lohan ducked, but still got conked in the head.  She only suffered minor bruises. Some witnesses say some of the “blonde” got knocked out of her.
Due to overcrowding in L.A. jails, however, Lohan will probably only spend four weeks behind bars.
Lohan has been living at the L.A. County Morgue for the also two weeks – she was sentenced two weeks ago after calling the Downtown Women’s Center “boring” and “dull.

Lohan told the court that she has changed her life and will be a model citizen from now on.   In proof of that, Lohan showed the judge her photoshoot from Playboy magazine that she completed a week ago.  The judge was not impressed with Lohan’s photos but the bailiff liked them very  much and took them to the judge’s chambers to study them further.
Lohan’s lawyer’s said that Lindsay will appeal the judge’s decision, even though she admitted that she violated probation.
Lohan has already received a book deal from an anonymous publisher for over $3 million dollars.  So, Lindsay feels that her life is looking up.
In fact, this will be the best year Lohan has had financially – ever.
Crime doesn’t pay?

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  1. She needs to get a hard 10 years in a labor camp. And no seafood eatin' either Lindsay, cuz we know how you like the same sex. Separate cell for you.

  2. actually she likes both sex's men or women depending on who looks at old fire crotch a certain way probably get a night of hot steamy sex with lilo just saying


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